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Flying off the Handle:  Losing Your Temper in Ministry

Orginally published on Friday, October 07, 2005 at 1:00 PM
by Todd Rhoades

Bob Burroughs recently wrote a short piece (directed at worship leaders) about losing your temper in ministry.  Bob writes:  Christmas is just around the corner! As the time for the big Christmas production(s) draws nearer, some might have a tendency to lose the temper for perhaps a variety of reasons, none really justified, but certainly including lack of response, attendance, commitment, too many wrong notes, and much more. Been there? Seen that happen? Have the T-shirt? Such action by the leader can quickly put a damper on even the best rehearsal and certainly, the performance!

One of the most common expressions used to describe the losing of one's temper is "flying off the handle." This phrase refers to the head of a hammer coming loose from the handle as the carpenter attempts to use it. Several things happen as a result:

and is no longer suited for the work for which it was designed. In like manner, when a person loses his temper, he quite often loses his effectiveness. Anything that happens after such an action is usually downhill. It is difficult to recover.

First, the hammer becomes useless

to anything in its path. The person who loses his temper can cause sometimes, physical damage to people or objects in his way, and nearly always, losing one's temper causes emotional damage to those who feel they are the victims of uncontrolled wrath. Remember: people do not have to be involved in the production or performance or rehearsal and put up with being exposed to such tension. Some simply will not return because of it.

Second, the hammerhead whirling out of control is likely to cause some type of damage

The person who loses his temper usually tries to recover quickly, but the one who is the victim of a hot temper reaction rarely recovers as quickly, and the group reaction to such loss of control can cause heavy damage to the project.

Third, the repair of both the hammer and the resulting damage will take time.

Keep your temper! No one else wants it!

Thanks, Bob.  Anyone want to share some instances where you've lost your temper in ministry?  What was the effect?


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 TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 5 Comments:

  • Posted by Sam Edwards
    Thursday, October 20, 2005 at 5:47 AM

    When we as a family came back from a South American mission field for a one year furlough, My Pastor suddenly had something against my family.  He did not like the length of my wife’s hair and decided to proclaim that dislike from the pulpit as he preached.  I was out of town preaching in Tenn. and he took his liberty to step down out of the pulpit and walk down to where my wife was sitting with my children and said, as he looked down the pew that she was sitting on.  He said,” we’re not gonna have these lesbian haircuts in our church”.  The whole church looked back at them and she has never recooperated from such hatred.  We left the church, He sent out letters to all of our supporters and friends stating that the church has brought disciplinary action against our family and that this family is no longer supported by our home church.  The good that has come out of all of this is we no longer have that negative demeanor, compassion has been our strength, and we are no longer in a church that hates everything that it doesn’t understand.

  • Posted by
    Monday, October 24, 2005 at 7:02 PM

    As senior pastor of a church in northern Sasketchawan. We were working with a man that was addicted to cocaine. He had been clean for more than a year and he and his wife and children had given there life to Christ. Then during music practise one evening he came into the church and proclaimed that the church was the cause for all his problems and he was leaving his wife to become a male prostitute in a large city. I became so angry that I threw a hymn book at him, and called him out on his rebellion against God. He did not return to Christ but his wife who witnessed this then knew how much we loved they’re family and never departed and remained true to christ. I was mad at sin not the man. I wish I was a more effective at reaching him, perhaps more prayer, or support, but the choice was his. I heard that he died of drug overdose years later.

  • Posted by Phil Hoover-Chicago
    Wednesday, November 16, 2005 at 11:38 AM

    My pastor recently blew up at me...and I’m still reeling from it.

    Pray for me.

  • Posted by
    Monday, February 26, 2007 at 9:40 AM

    In 30 years of ministry I can remember 5 or 6 times I really blew up - unfortunately.  1 of those times had a postive outcome - the person I directed by anger at had the strength and integrity to listen and work with me on the issue involved.  A 2nd had a semi-positive outcome - that person had strength, some measure of integrity.  Both of those were private, one on one.  In other instances the results ranged from negative to devastating.  In one case anger expressed one on one produced a festering in the recipient of my anger that led to a church split.  Very sadly, looking back, while I still that person was wrong in how they presented the intitial issue to me, I was wrong in how I understood the facts and foolish and wrong in approaching them before I had cooled down sufficiently.  Being a pastor or church leader is such an awesome responsibility and we will give account to the Head Shepherd!

  • Posted by pass drug test
    Monday, November 03, 2008 at 7:58 AM

    “I started using marijuana when I was 10 years old, graduated to LSD and “"shrooms"” at age 12 and then to heroin, cocaine, crack, and crystal meth at 14. Since most of my family, including my parents, were druggies, I didn’t see much wrong with it. At 14, I dropped out of school and my mom kicked me out on the street. At 16, I was shot in the chest over a $20.00 rock and then overdosed on heroin and nearly died. That was 7 months ago and I am now 7 months “"clean"” thanks to Jesus Christ. I lost years of my life and nearly my life, but Jesus has changed me. I still get tempted but II Peter 1:3 says that “”...His divine power (Christ’s) has given unto us all things that pertain to life and godliness..."” It’s His power that gives me all I need to stay “clean”
    Regards, Rebecca
    how long does cocaine, marijuana, alcohol stay in your system

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