How Do You Know Who’s Telling the Truth?

Orginally published on Monday, July 10, 2006 at 9:00 AM
by Todd Rhoades

OK... stories like this one really get me going. Either we have one evil pastor on our hands, or a pervert who is a total liar. Read this newspaper article from the Cincinnati Post, and then we'll discuss how we can tell who's telling the truth, if possible...

A Covington man claims that his pastor abused his position of trust by stealing the man’s wife and children.

Zuriel D. Turk makes that claim in a lawsuit filed Friday in Kenton Circuit Court.

According to the lawsuit, Turk and his wife, Amy, were members of the Covington Baptist Temple, whose pastor, William Frey, was counseling them.

The Turks and their four children lived in an apartment on the church property on Holman Avenue in Covington.

In March 2005, Turk started looking for a new house for his growing family. Frey objected, however, and to give them more space, opened another apartment above the one they were living in.

“I am your pastor, and God didn’t tell me to let you leave,” he said, according to Turk. “If you need more space, we’ll open the upstairs apartment for you.”

Turk came home from work many times and found his wife alone with Frey in the apartment. The children were forced to play outside when Frey was inside.

According to the lawsuit, on July 21, 2005, the Turks wedding anniversary, Frey moved Amy Turk and the Turk children into his home and forced Zuriel Turk to hand over his house keys.

He told Turk: “You are going to quietly disappear. Your children are mine now, and your wife is mine now.”

He also told Turk he needed to divorce his wife and give her full custody of their children. Otherwise, he would “blackmail” Turk with his knowledge of Turk’s previous casual drug use.

He also demanded that Turk give him $250 a week to share with Amy Turk.

According to the lawsuit, Turk has seen his family four times since then and is no longer a member of the church.

Frey could not immediately be reached for comment on Friday evening.

The lawsuit says he used his position as a marriage counselor to develop a relationship with Amy Turk and separate her from her husband.

“He took control of these people’s lives like he was a cult leader,” said Zuriel Turk’s attorney, Eric Deters.

In the divorce proceedings, Amy Turk has accused her husband of inappropriately touching their children’s privates, Deters said.

But Mr. Turk touched the children’s privates only when he was washing them, something that he said his wife had an aversion to, Deters said.

Covington police are investigating the allegations, but no charges have been filed, Deters said.

“In my opinion, this is a classic case of ‘Let’s say something terrible about somebody in order to gain an upper hand in a divorce proceeding,’” Deters said.

He said he plans to sue Amy Turk, in Kenton Circuit Court on Monday, for abuse of process for making the allegations.

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Ok… is it possible from this story to tell who’s telling the truth and who is lying?  Probably not.

But let’s face it, as a ministry leader, what’s stopping a story like this from happening to you (if the man is a liar)?

Actually, I think there’s a number of things that could’ve prevented this story.

1.  Never, ever put your self in a vulnerable position like this pastor did.  Do not be alone with a member of the opposite sex, especially in their home.  Ever.  To me, this is pretty much a no-brainer.

2.  Always work through the system.  If there is abuse (such as what is claimed by the wife and pastor in this story) report it immediately.

3.  Blackmail is unbecoming, especially for a pastor.  Just by going on what this story says, if we are to believe the father, there is blackmail involved.  Pastors are often in possession of personal information that could be used against an individual.  Don’t go there.

4.  If you’re counseling, have a witness.  And if you get in over your head, do a referral to a professional counselor.

The reason I even wrote about this article is that it is so outlandish that you think it could never happen.  But it does.  (There’s another story I’m planning on writing about later today that is similar.) These things happen; and it’s just unconscienable; but many churches actually are enablers, allowing their pastors too much power… and these types of things happen.

So do we know who’s telling the truth?  Not really.  But let this serve as a reminder to all of us in ministry to avoid even the appearance of evil; because there may be someone out there who may try to use anything they can against us.

Random, jagged thoughts… from someone who gets really ticked when this kind of thing hits the papers.

Todd

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Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a Christ-follower, husband, father and I love to connect leaders with other leaders. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step on Twitter.

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