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Is it Time to Leave? Assessing Your Church’s Personality
Orginally published on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 at 8:49 AM
by Todd Rhoades
This week, we’re continuing our series on “Is it time to leave?”, based on John Cionca’s book “Before You Move: A Guide to Making Transitions in Ministry”. This week we’ll talk about how your church’s personality might help determine whether or not it is a good time to move on. John writes, “Some people are outgoing; others are more private. Some people are thinkers; others are feelers. Some people like structure; others like flexibility. Some people explode with bursts of energy; others are steady Freddies. One person is an idealist; another is a pragmatist. One pastor prefers a daily hands-on approach; another wants notification and personal involvement only when problems arise.
Like Jeremiah, we acknowledge that God knew us before we were formed in the womb and set us apart before we were born. Each of us is unique, having particular personality strengths and limitations. It follows that a minister serving in harmony with his or her own personality serves with authenticity, which, in turn, deepens trust within parishioners. Usually, the longer we serve a church, the more likely the congregation will understand, accept, and even reflect our personality. If we are free to be ourselves, we are in a strong position to influence lives for the kingdom. When sensing this type of acceptance of our God-given wiring, it's wise to stay put for additional fruitful ministry."John continues... "The personality fit criterion does not mean that everyone in the church has to like you. Nor can it justify a "that's-just-the-way-I-am" attitude. But if you feel overwhelmingly, "I just can't be me", a change is probably worth exploring."
Have you ever found yourself serving in a place where your personality and the personality of the church just didn't match up? How long did it take you to discover this and how did you deal with it? I'd love to hear your comments. Just click the comments link below to get the discussion going!
And for tons more on this subject, pick up a copy of John's book. It's worth every penny!
Have a great day!
Todd
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I'm a chronic workaholic, love to connect leaders with other leaders, and would consider myself somewhat of a 'maven'. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you'll like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step.
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Tuesday, November 02, 2004 at 9:04 AM
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Friday, January 13, 2006 at 12:03 AM
Post Your Comments:I am there RIGHT NOW. Got the T-shirt, and it doesn’t fit either!!!
The church I pastor and I don’t fit at all. My personality is more quiet and reserved, and they want a more outgoing, extroverted, be everybod’s buddy pastor. That isn’t me, and I have stopped trying to be what everyone else wants me to be. I know who God made me to be, and I like me - regardless of what everyone else thinks.
This is the main reason I have chosen to leave my church just as soon as I find a church that “fits.”
I have been reading carefully for the past couple of weeks, and your messages (plus the amazing responses) have been quite a journey. I wrote an article myself after some years of work on it, called “Why some churches can’t be pastored” and you may be interested in it. Let me know, blessings in Him, Mark Simpson
http://www.RiverOfLifeMinistries.com
This particular point is exceedingly important to understand. The trouble is we pastors sometimes get caught up in thinking that God will somehow overcome personality disparity. This is problematic because the way we are wired is not a question of right and wrong, we simply are who God created us to be. However, equally important to understand is one’s cultural match (white vs. blue collar, rural vs. metropolitan, agrarian vs. professional, etc.) with the church one pastors. If this is not aligned well you’re in for a frustrating experience. This is what I’ve been wrestling with for some time now. Anyway, God bless!
I am a task oriented pastor who possesses the gift of administration and thus I approach ministry in terms of structure, strategy, and organization. I am motivated and energized by innovation and challenge. I view my role and responsibilities in terms of a team coach who deeply desires to provide active, aggressive leadership. The church where I currently serve, however, is comprised primarily of those who resist and even resent leadership principles promoted by people like John Maxwell. I’ve come to believe my style of leadership is an extremely poor fit for this ministry assignment.
Looks like basics over the “body” needs to be refreshed… Is everyone an eye or ear? What’s wrong with being different? As the body, let’s learn to appreciate differences.
1 Corinthians 12
17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.
...Bernie
http:///www.FreeGoodNews.com
Fit is extremely important for a pastor and a church. People need to be able to identify with those who are their spiritual leaders. Leaders need to feel that they have something in common with those who will follow.
If you pastor a larger church where there is more than one pastor on staff, some of this can be compensated for by hiring an associate who can make up some of that which may be lacking in connection. The administrative pastor above could hire an associate who is outgoing and able to be more relational with the congregation. This, however, can create a difficulty of the people’s affection going to the one who shows them the most affection. It takes a strong pastor who is confident in his calling and gifting to be able to continue to minister effectively even when someone else is getting a lot of the attention. It also takes a very loyal associate who will not allow the people’s affection to create a division within the church.
Good comments. I agree it is important to fit as a pastor. I am frustrated by my current position because I don’t fit well with the established culture of the small church I am serving in.
They are great people but they approach their faith from a different perspective. The Senior Pastor has been here for over 20 years so basically the church is a reflection of his personality. This is why it is difficult for me to serve here under his leadership.
I didn’t understand anything about sizing up the culture of a church when I was candidating for this position. Now I know a little more and I am trying to keep from making the same mistake of serving in a mismatched church.
There is a great book available on this topic that I received from the Western Seminary Placement Office called “Confirming the Pastoral Call” by Joseph L. Umidi. It is a guide for both churches and candidates to find the right “match” when they are searching.
Ultimately obedience to the call is the most important, but discerning the quality of the match is something I believe the Lord will use to help you decide if he is calling you to that church.
At first,as a young Christian, I thought there was something “wrong” with me. But after nearly two decades at the same church, years of serving the Lord and Bible college,I have come to the conclusion that
some leaders are more interested in changing one’s personality to fit the church culture rather than transforming us to the likeness of Christ. I have recently moved to another church and I now feel hugely liberated to be myself.
I am looking for the fruits of God’s spirit not feeling judged when I walk out of the church. I said nothing for along time and feel like I am being controlled by religous practices not the word of God. I want to live for God. Particpating in every thing is not feasible not because I don’t want to but because of time, family and work. My understanding in God is the same but the pastor and I don’t agree on certain things. Such as Is it wrong for women to wear pants if they are modest? Is it wrong for a woman to work and go to school? I thought sin and old testament law is why Christ died for us. Everything should line up under the word of God. I can’t understand why I can’t get along with this pastor. He does not like alot of my charateristics and personality. I look for the Lord to deal with issues. I certainly don’t want to become a hypocrit so I keep it real. This has become a problem for him. I don’t have the same attitude as the rest of the ladies who are faithful so I am openly rebuked and made to feel bad it seems.
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