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Knowing When to Tick People Off
In his book The Leadership Secrets of Colin Powell
Powell goes on to say: “Making people mad was part of being a leader. As I had learned long ago…an individual’s hurt feelings run a distant second to the good of the service.”
Harari summarizes: “Leadership can’t be a popularity contest. Trying not to offend anyone, or trying to get everyone to like you, will set you on the road to mediocrity. Why? Because leaders who are afraid to make people angry are likely to waver and procrastinate when it comes time to make tough choices. Leaders who care more about being liked than about being effective are unlikely to confront the people who need confronting…They won’t challenge the status quo. And inevitably, by not challenging tradition, they hurt both their own credibility and their organization’s performance.”
Clearly, in ministry work, people’s feelings are important. But the work God has called us to do for the kingdom is equally important. Many churches are deadlocked in tradition and will never change because there’s a group of people whose feelings (or even sins) will never be confronted.
Is your church on “the road to mediocrity”?
As effective leaders, sometimes being responsible means ticking people off. Who have you ticked off lately?
You can email me at [email protected]). Have a great week!
Todd
This post has been viewed 945 times and was added on January 14, 2008 by Todd Rhoades. Filed under: Leadership Issues Leadership Development Share this post with a friend right now! View reactions to this post at other blogs... You can really help us out by subscribing to our free RSS feed with your favorite feed reader, or here at Bloglines. Also, you can add us to your favorites at Technorati.
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I'm Todd Rhoades... the MMI guy. I'm also on the team at Leadership Network (although that doesn't mean that they endorse everything I write here). In my past life, I was the founder and developer of a website named ChurchStaffing.com.
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Posted by Pastor Steve Nestor
Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 9:28 AM
Post Your Comments:Well, I haven’t ticked anybody but my children off lately. As I read the article, I was feeling guilty for being liked. Not for being likeable but for striving for mediocrity, trying to make everyone happy. The reality is, we will make someone mad. However, i want to be liked and that conflict within me is very difficult to deal with. I have recently come out of a situation where my fear to make people mad led the church to deteriorate. There were many other factors of course, but I allowed traditions, feelings and sin to be the course setters for the church. I was afraid to confront gossip, back biting, lying and other sin even when I knew it was happening, for fear of being fired. That is a huge issue for those of us in congregational churches, make the wrong person mad and you could be out of a job, fast! Anyone have any solutions...My two cents worth anyways
I certainly understand the need for making tough decisions. I’m the Worship Pastor of a growing, contemporary ministry and there have certainly been a few that have left our fellowship because of volume, drums, music style, etc.... However, I think James 4 is very clear about our responsibility to check our motivation for making decisions that are going to cause arguments and conflict. I don’t believe conflict is wrong or bad, but if the motivation driving our decisions is not free of selfish ambition and pride then we are guilty of giving in to selfish desire. Again, I’m all for making the tough decisions that sometimes make the people we minister to uncomfortable, but the first step in making those decisions must be self examination.
I believe that this article is dead on. I tick people off on a regular basis because I refuse to let them settle for mediocrity. My church has not only been on the road to mediocrity but have been paving it to make it more accessible. The church has to come to grips with the fact that it is not an exclusive club but the body of Christ and start acting like it is the body of Christ. When we settle for less than what is best for the Lord of our lives then it is mediocrity and needs to be addressed.
Yes, I’ve definitely been known to tick people off. Hubby has too.
Personally, we believe our local church body is no longer on the road to mediocrity. We’re seeing significant evidence of real changes taking place. It’s an exciting time to be in the ministry!
Rod,
Completely understand what you mean by “make the wrong person mad and you could be out of a job, fast!”
Not speaking necessarily to you here… perhaps I am… but we ought to be more concerned with having favor in God’s eyes. At times that just might mean being out of a job fast. I’d rather be out of a job and have favor in God’s eyes than to be in a job and afraid to move a muscle.
We have to remember whose real authority we’re under..
I try not to “tick anyone off” intentionally...but it does happen. And sometimes “something” needs to upset those same people, so they will realize they are “in this world with other people.”
I never intend to make anyone mad...but it does happen. Sometimes the “truth” about a situation makes others very, very uncomfortable.
Look what it did to Christ…
Never, never shy away from sharing the truth, but beware of using “I’m sharing the truth in love,” as a baseball bat. I have known men who have used this scripture to justify their need to be right and be in control. Jesus always shared the truth but also demonstrated humility. Don’t forget Philippians 2.
Plenty of people mad at us, but the church is growing after 20 years of not.
I think that says a lot.
Not upsetting the status quo because you cannot handle conflict is a big problem in a lot of churches.
And no, you don’t WANT conflict, but I think it’s inevitable with change.
Good article, I understand exactly what they are saying. Sometimes doing what is right is not popular decison and we will face problems as a result. But I rather being doing what is right than doing what is popular.
Well, I have ticked off a few in my day. When I came to pastor this church three years ago, there were many people taking on task that they were either unqualified for, didn’t care enough about, or were just plain lazy. As I would attempt to shape up the ship, I was banging my head against some pretty rock hard heads. Because of the lack of preparation, our music ministry program suffered greatly. The choir would sing songs chosen from the hymnal immediately prior to the service with no practice, and the worship service was not benefiting. He refused to use soundtracks or anything that required learning the words. There was no joy. The people just sat like deer in headlights. I finally had enough, and tried to talk with the “music director”. His response was to leave the church with the warning, “I’ll be back when you are gone.” He also stated that he and his wife had been so hurt by my actions. It is has now been more than 8 months, I’m still here and have no plans to leave and he is has jumped into the music program at his new church. I feel for the pastor, because he is a friend. However, our church has not suffered from the loss, and the best thing I could have done was too tick him off. I think it is sad when people fail to understand what true service to God is or the requirement to be at your best. “Whatever you do, do it as unto the Lord.”
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