I think that if we remind ourselves to consider what the purpose of our gossip is, we will greatly reduce it.  How often is our true purpose to make us feel better about ourselves, either because we have the “inside dirt” or because we are better than someone else. 

How does this tidbit of information about another change who we really are?  It may change the way we perceive this other person, but does it really change them?  Are they really doing something that much different than what we either have done or might well do in the future?

Two questins that might be asked when gossip arises are: 1) how do you know this to be true, and 2) how does passing this along help anyone in a constructive way.

Was this considered gossip?  Maybe I missed it here.  Where is the gossip?  It appears you have a woman who has a mental condition and should be treated as such.  It also appears you have another woman who needs anger management.  And finaly you have a new pastor that has a great story to tell his grandkids.

Did I miss something in the story?  Please help!!!

There are several reasons that Churches die, bit in the situation that I’m involved with ( Small Country Churches) Is that once al the members of that Church go home to be with Jesus there aren’t any new members to carry on, for lack of support from even their denomination. That if a church isn’t growing into the mega-Churches that we’ve all come to know, well what is the sense in keeping that Church alive?  The sad thing is that there are country Church buildings sitting empty while people around that empty building are dying and going to HELL because there aren’t any interested parties shareing Jesus with them.

I am with the guy who said he doesn’t get the connection to gossip in this story. It is just a sad case of a woman with some form of illness. If it is true - it is sad, not funny.

Come now!  The problem is not gossip.  The problem is not a major deal at this little church.-- The problem is simple, someone should have warned the pastor about this disturbed lady’s deal-- that is #1

#2 The old lady in the back with the shut up was out of line-- somebody should have dealt with her.

#3 Why wax spiritually about this?  A prayer meeting involved in that stuff, in my (no big deal) estimation will be continually stuck going no where… along with the church.  The light really does attract the bugs.  You betcha

LOL,

Now, I have had to endure plenty of bad “prayer requests” but this one takes the cake.  It gets me to think, “how many other requests I might have heard coming from the same Soap Opera!”

I am with the majority here, where is the Gossip?

While Gossip is an evil to be sure, this story seems to deal more with small church dynamics then gossip.

I think this situation has a lot less to do with gossip than it has to do with Christian people who don’t know how to behave in the presence of persons who are irrational.  Several points to consider:
1.  The prayer requester’s concern was real, even if her perception of reality was blurry.  Her heartfelt concern needed to have been treated with respect.  Even when a person is sincerely saying words that you know cannot be true, you can still respond truthfully and prayerfully to the emotion they express. 
2.  “Doreen, sit down and shut up” is not kind, not helpful, not supportive, and quite evidently from the story, not effective.  Sounds to me like there is some “caregiver burnout” on the part of the sister:  she is tired out from dealing with Doreen’s behaviour and I suspect a bit angry that she is stuck with dealing with it anyway.  And it also sounds like this congregation needs some training in loving the unlovely and caring compassionately for and providing relief for those who are living those “lives of quiet desperation.” The women who could look on “gleefully” in anticipation of a fight between the sisters were apparently not asking the Lord for guidance in how they could help the situation!  WWJD?
3.  It was not dealing with the embarrassment of the situation when the others present did nothing to inform the new pastor what was happening.  Someone could have quietly tiptoed up and slipped him a note explaining, “Doreen has dementia and is often confused.  She may go on for a long time if you don’t graciously remind her that other people need time for their requests too.” This would not be gossip, this would be giving him the background information he needs to do the job without getting his foot in his mouth!
4.  If Doreen’s sister was “in the back”, apparently people were sitting in rows.  With an attendance of only fifteen, why was this necessary?  Why would they not form a circle?  Is there resistance in this congregation to actually facing each other and seeing each other’s raw humanity?  It is not just those who have a mental disturbance who are broken: we are all broken people, some of us in more public ways than others.  It is too easy to forget about our own brokenness when we avoid seeing the brokenness of others.  And being aware of ourselves as believers as broken people being mended together reduces the likelihood of gossip:  gossip requires a distancing of oneself from the humanity of the person being gossiped about.
4.  My understanding of gossip is that it involves passing on unproven or not-quite-true or blatantly untrue tales about a mutual acquaintance to another person in hopes that they too will pass it on.  A recitation of the events of a soap opera by a person whose ability to deal with reality is impaired by a medical condition would not qualify as gossip, in my opinion.  It would appear that the real gossip may have been going on between the other members of the congregation out of church, since none of them would speak up to support either the pastor or the sisters while in church.  The act of gossip seemed to have blunted their ability to discern the Spirit’s leading as to how they could helpfully care for their sisters in Christ:  the ways in which we blunt our ability to hear the Spirit could make a good sermon series! 
5.  The caregiving sister is no less needy than the one with dementia, though her needs are different.  I would suggest, for one thing, that the other women in the congregation take turns staying with Doreen at home so that her sister could get out for an evening at church without the burden of being responsible for Doreen.  If they shared the experience of dealing with Doreen’s dementia, they would be less likely to gossip about her behavior.  And is it possible that if Doreen were more involved in their lives that she would have less need to create her own reality from a soap opera?

And perhaps this is long enough and I should stop now?!

Gossip
Is it true, helpful, inspirational, necessary and/or kind?
Did it happen to you (eye witness or hearsay?) What is
the motivation to repeat it? (only God knows the heart.)
Gossip in the bible usually coincides with false witness.

Ministers gossip about their leadership who knows the
truth to destroy the witness to keep his (The minister’s) job. 
He tells other ministers in town who listen—making them
a party to the gossip, oh, what did you say?  Oh, yeah,
ministers don’t gossip, they just ask for prayer concerns.
It is gossip when it disagrees with me or someone of influence who
knows what REALLY went on so you label them to keep
anyone from listening to the truth.  Our Lord knows the truth
and who is really causing the division.

Some woman in the audience should have gone quietly to her side
and suggested they go for coffee and talk about it.  The minister
should have been clued in quietly with love and concern.

It seems to me this is not so much gossip but rather a poor way to lead a prayer meeting.  I have noticed that when we all sit around and mention our prayer requests we spend more time talking about prayer and details that are not needed.  We are praying to God, Who already knows the details.  It would be a much better use of time to just begin to open the meeting to prayer and as each prays for the need the others can agree and give the Amen.  Less time to be distracted and tempted to gossip and much more prayer happens.

Since I strarted the bug thing.... its easy… If the light attracts the bugs and you and I along with others that have been attracted to the light… then who are the bugs?  All of us-- somewhere in the book of Romans.
No problem to admit it… I’m a bug.  Too bad for many, they forget where they came from and thus become… ah, never mind.
No wonder many are looking for authentic people.

Don

Even though I receive these articles on a regular basis in my email, I have to admit I seldom read them.  For some reason, this article about gossip (yes, it IS about gossip) caught my attention.  Even more so the astounding responses to this article.  At the risk of being “spiritually flamed”, I feel I must add my 2 cents.

Soap operas are gossip.  Period.  Therefore, the relating of a story from a soap opera is gossip.  Period.  The mental condition of the teller does not make it any more or less gossip.  So for those that don’t see how this story is about gossip, there you go, and for no extra charge because I’m just generous that way. :=D

The point of the story is the destructiveness of gossip in a church, causing divisions and hatred. While some have pointed out other problems pertaining to the sister and the other church members (acurately, I might add), these problems are not the point of the story.  Ever hear about church splits?  They happen, and usually it has its roots in, you guessed it, gossip.  I’m all for finding humor in things, but the unfortunate truth is that church divisions are serious business.  So go ahead and laugh now, but remember how serious this really is in the church today.

For those who found this funny enough to relate to their friends, well guess what?  Yep.  You’re a gossip.  You don’t agree, I know, but think about it this way; the possibility of a harmful sin has been pointed out.  The flesh wants to rise up and pride screams out “No, NOT ME!” But as ministers, isn’t better to take the time to examine our hearts, then get before our Saviour and find out what He has to say?  If, after communing with God and meditating on His Word, you find you’re NOT a gossip, what have you lost?  But if you do find the truth about yourself, and decide to change, what has your congregation gained?  ;=)

So that’s my 2 cents.  If you disagree, so be it.  I’m not going to be checking back here for responses or anything, so don’t worry about hurting my feelings.  I only hope that this has come across to you as loving insights and gentle corrections, because that is how I sincerely meant it.

And just so you know, I am examining myself, too.

In reply to should we conform to the culture or the culture conform to us- What is the culture of today vice who set the culture of yesterday?  Someone had to set the rules- It wasn’t Jesus- who wore sandals- Heres a question- Where did wear your Sundays best originate???
With women wearing no tops- WOW- Where was that at?  I guess this is really all a personal decision that the Pastor will have to set in place- If it makes a brother or sister stumble would be one point I would look at.  Which a woman not wearing a top would definetly make a believer or non believer who is struggling with sexual issues fall but someone wearing flip flops- I guess the point could be made that someone could have a foot fetish -haha- but again- different strokes for different folks.

Point - The Pastor was quick to accept the story without being able to discern the differance. The Pastor was quick to silence the sister instead of engaging her about what she might know about the situation that may have helped the Pastor be more diserning and empathetic to the situation. 
To often the congregation is just preached at, totally disregarding the value of the congregations possible contributions to one another as a whole; to be able to help one another.

Granted it was an inappropiate outburst, but what did the pastor do? 1) mis-judged the woman, 2) condemmed the woman. 3) and totally lost credibility with at least a few members.

I never understood the lack of particaption between Pastor and congregation. Many times I have wanted to raise my hand and say excuse me but I don’t understand, or Jesus didn’t say that, or we heard this already give me another piece of meat to chew on.

The Pastor has been set up to be the end all, final word, but God keeps showing me that you have to discern all people including those who claim to walk the walk etc. No human alive is perfect enough for us believe in.  That’s why we love God Only with all of our heart and All of our mind and with all of our Soul.  Second we love on another like God Loves us just for that reson. We are not perfect but God saved us anyway.  We need to love and live the relationship period.