Not too many responses to this one huh! My story is that i grew up with pornography being around. My older brother whom I share a room with had Playboy and other such magazines hidden in our closet. I was also the youngest of six kids and as i looked at these images, i also started to peek at mysisters through hidden places. As I grew i got involved with drugs, not that one has anything to do with the other, other than my lost condition. I gave my life to Christ as a young man and was delivered from drug abuse and was living for Jesus, even surrendered to the ministry. It was during my Seminary training that my wife and I started a family, and purchased a VCR. I had rented a movie of questionable taste that I wanted to see when I was a teenager that had nudity in it, and then the slow progression took place. Just like my drug abuse, the porn began to get a little more graphic through the years. Then along came the internet. I was able to hide all this from my wife for almost 15 years. One day she explored the history of visited websites on my computer that I did not get cleared off. It almost destroyed us. Luckily I had never gone outside our marriage to be involved with an actual person, but it was still just as devastating. We went to counseling and were able to get through and our marriage survived, but there is still a trust issue, and an esteem issue with my wife. I still struggle with this issue and have to resist on an everyday basis. It seemed easy to get off drugs because that was something that was outside of me. But we are sexual creatures and the struggle is in our very being. I don’t know why I ventured into this mess, my wife and I have very good relations, but once I looked it became an addiction.

Thanks, Jim for sharing.

I’m kind of suprised at the lack of comments on this one.  I know a thread over at pastors.com and a poll there showed that this was a massive problem among pastors and church leaders in one way or another.

Have you ever struggled with this addiction?  Have you ever been involved in a church that needed to deal with this problem in it’s leadership?  How would you, did you, could you respond?

And as Ken said, feel free to post anonymously.

Todd

As someone who has been caught up in pornography, I can appreciate this article.  I hust wanted to say that there are a lot more people out therewith this problem that you would think.  God bless.

I think most Pastors don’t talk about sex because they don’t feel adequate.  I took a Seminary course called “Marriage and Family Counseling.” Guess how much of the material dealt with sexuality? Zero percent. 

...Bernie
http://freegoodnews.blogspot.com

As Christians, we are constantly under scrutiny as to how we live our lives and we so often become captive or under bondage to this self-inflected demonically fueled unattainable idea that we are perfect therefore, our public must see us as “perfect Christians” that do not sin. This in itself is blasphemy against our God who has called us to be perfect, but knowing that we are but flesh and prone to sin made for us a fountain in which a precious flow of our savior’s blood continually washes away the sins of the saints that have fallen who come to it in true repentance. 

Our enemy the devil has been an expert on developing this idea that Christians are to be seen as some kind of spiritual holier than thou people when in fact we are human and we often fall into temptation often falling short of Our Heavenly Fathers expectations. The difference is that Christians have an advocate with the Father in Heaven that continues to intercede for us day and night and it is the answer to Jesus prayers that our God grants us the grace and the power of forgiveness when we meet the condition of our hearts in true repentance.

Pornography I dare say is something a majority of people both Christian and non-Christian people have had to deal with not once but often in life. The chances are that even Todd and Ken have had some dealings with pornography in which they had to overcome. I once mentioned that I led a men’s group and every one of the 25 to 30 men that met weekly for prayer and bible study had struggled with pornography some time in their life.

Pornography always leads to deeper and darker sin when it goes unconfessed as seen by the life of King David. David’s sin of murder begins with pornography as he watched from his rooftop as Uriah’s wife Bathsheba bathed. David’s Kingly position is the same as ours as Children of the most High and has been recorded in scripture for us to learn from David’s mistake. This sin took a King and made him an adulterer so full of fear of being found out that it drove him to committing murder. Today pornography is still reducing men and women alike to mere shadows of what they were and could have been had they not given in to pornography. 

Pornography always comes with the lust of the eyes that stirs up the lust of the flesh. When King David saw the woman, he had a choice to make, to continue looking or to turn away and keep a covenant with his eyes to the Lord. Yet he gave in to the lust of the eyes and it drove him to inquire who the woman was that was bathing and then invited her into his home. Hear me now, there is a great lesson for all of us to learn from David’s mistake. Most people who have fallen to pornography were first enticed by a picture or ad in a paper or magazine or spam on their computer. Just like David, we have a choice to make, to give in to our curiosity and the lust of our eyes or turn away from it immediately. If you fail to have your mind made up(right now make that commitment) that you will not offend God through viewing pornography you will probably take that second step like David did and it will ultimately cost you a price you were never willing to pay.

I recently went through this in that I clicked on an adult ad on my computer and I was taken to a site that was risqué but not hardcore. In my heart prior to clicking on the ad I had warning in my spirit not to click on the ad, but I gave in to clicking on the ad when I voluntarily studied the ad feeding the lust of my eyes. This is why one must make a prior decision already made up in their mind the second that an ad of this nature pops up or is presented on paper that you will immediately turn away. 

Once at the site the ad took me to I furher clicked and viewed pictures that were extremely degrading. I quickly shutdown the screen I was on and prayed for God to forgive me. This is when the Holy Spirit took me to review the story of King David and I could see the parallels between David’s story of sin and my personal actions. I voluntarily chose to ignore the Holy Spirits warning and read the adult Ad which took me to the next act of disobedience, the clicking on the ad.

Well this would have been great if when I took the problem to the Lord my sin was forgiven and that would have been the end of the story, but it was not. Although I know that I was forgiven the moment I took it before the Lord, I still faced a battle in my mind as pictures of what I had allowed my eyes to see kept infiltrating my mind during my time with God in prayer. The enemy of my soul continued to harass me when I read my bible and in my prayer times for about a month after I had given in to the adult ad.

The enemy managed to interfere with my most precious possession I have here on earth and that is my fellowship with My Savior and Heavenly father. Every time I prayed, I had to fight against the memory of those pornographic pictures invading my mind. Although I no longer suffer this affliction of seeing in my mind those degrading pictures I voluntarily chose to see, I could have fallen by my choice into deeper spiritual bondage simply because I had not made a predetermined choice not to sin by pornography.

So often, we as Christians fail to reach out for help because we have seen what our Christian brothers are capable of in applying condemnation and guilt, as were Job’s friends who continually found Job guilty and offered no help to a hurting man. I am truly blessed to having a wife that I can share my mistakes with and we often go before God together confessing our sins. Everyone should have a person of confidence he or she can trust and confide in and who will hold him or her accountable. 

I urge everyone to reread the scripture concerning King David and Bathsheba. Take time to meditate and analyze what you are reading and openly ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the deep truths and lessons, which can be learned from David’s mistakes. You and I are the Kings and Priests to the Most High God and Satan loves to bring us down by enticing us through the same ways he has from the beginning of time. Let us make that predetermined decision right now not to give in to the lust of the eyes. Also remembering that if we have already fallen or when we do fail we have an advocate with the father that can and will restore us as we repent and turn to Him with all our hearts.

Sin is sin. There is no sin worse than the other, in that all sin separates us from God and all sin is common to man. This is why Jesus came into the world, as an expression of God’s most profound act of Love, in which the vilest of sinners like myself can find forgiveness and eternal life. Only in Jesus, Only in Jesus can a soul heavy-laden find rest and redemption and be transformed into a new creation able to reflect the love and mercy found only in our precious savior Jesus the Christ.

Hello all.  I admire and am encouraged by this line of discussion.  I agree that this is a problem in the church in that it is not spoken of at all.  I was fortunate before entering the ministry to have a youth minister who was NOT afraid to talk to us guys (I don’t know who talked to the girls) about sex and masturbation and pornography.  This has not made me invulnerable to temptation but it has equipped me with several tools in which to fight this sin.  I am encouraged by the “Every Man’s” series which unashamedly deals with these topics, and more recently I am blown away by the ministry of XXXchurch.com They have an awesome program you can download which tracks the websites visited on your computer and e-mails them periodically to an accountability partner(s).  It even logs when you turn it off so that your partner can inquire as to the reasons why.  I am a worship leader right now, but am called to plant a church someday.  When I do, I will make the XXXchurch.com software a requirement of my staff with myself as an acountability partner and each staff member’s spouse (or someone else close to them if unmarried).  In short, we have to not only acknowledge the problem, we have to have a plan to defeat it as well.  God be with and bless all of you in your journey.

HELLO I’M KELVIN BASNIGHT & I JUST READ THIS SITE ON PORNOGRAPHY;SIN & THE MINISTRY.  JUST TO LET YOU KNOW BEFORE I GOT SAVED 6 YEARS AGO I WAS INTO PORNOGRAPHIC MUSIC VIDEO’S & MOVIES.  AND I USED TO BE VERY MUCH INVOLVED WITH THE RAP MUSIC VIDEO’S WITH IMAGES OF WOMEN EXPOSING THEMSELVES & ENTERTAINING THOSE THOUGHTS IN MY MIND & ACTIONS ALONG WITH GOING TO THE STORES SUCH AS WILLIE’S & TOWER RECORDS THAT SOLD THIS GARBAGE.  NOW THAT I’M A NEW CREATION IN CHRIST I CAN RELATE TO THESE MEN’S TESTIMONIES HERE & HOW THEY STILL STRUGGLE.  THE LORD HAS DEALTH WITH MY HEART FOR ONE NOT TO LOOK ON A WOMEN TO LUST AFTER HER WITH MY EYES;HEART & MIND & TWO NOT TO ENGAGE IN THE FANTASIES.  SO YOU MAY ASK HOW I’M BETTER ABLE TO COPE RIGHT NOW.  I READ;PRAY & TRY TO BE A BETTER WITNESS TO THOSE MEN & WOMEN & LADIES STRUGGLE WITH THE SAME THING THROUGH THE DISTRIBUTION OF GOSPEL TRACTS WHICH I CARRY JUST ABOUT EVERY DAY TO SHOW TO THEM THAT I’M A NEW PERSON & THE OLD KELVIN BASNIGHT IS NOT THE SAME AS HE USED TO BE.  THIS NEW CHANGE IN MY WALK & LIFE BEFORE THE LORD HAS RESULTED IN WHOLESOME RELATIONSHIP’S I’VE HAD WITH SINGLE FEMALE CHRISTIAN’S ONE ON ONE SUCH AS LUNCH GET TOGETHER’S PLUS RELATIONSHIP’S WITH SINGLE MEN THAT I TOO HAVE HAD.  EACH OF THESE LADIES HAVE ALL ENJOYED MY COMPANY AS WE HAD LUNCH TOGETHER & I HAVE MORE UPCOMING FELLOWSHIP’S WITH SINGLE WOMEN FROM MY CHURCH NEW SONG.  THE REASON WHY THE RELATIONSHIPS HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL IS BECAUSE THESE ARE TRUE WOMEN OF FAITH & THEY TAKE THEIR WALK BEFORE THE LORD SERIOUSLY AS I DO.  I REALIZE THAT GOD HAS CALLED ME TO A HIGHER STANDARD OF LIVING INSTEAD OF JUST THE SAME OLD ROUTINE WHEN I WAS IN THE WORLD.  I KNOW ALSO THE SERIOUSNESS THAT PORNOGRAPHY & THE HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE IMPACT IS HAVING ON OUR YOUTH GENERATION IN THE NEGATIVE STAGE.  IF THEY ARE SEEING THAT IT’S OK & JUST PART OF THE CULTURE THEN THE ENEMY HAS THEM DECEIVED ALREADY.  I READ ONE COMMENT BY A GENTLEMEN ON THIS SITE AND HE WAS RIGHT THAT THIS MATTER OF SEX & HOW THE LORD VIEWS IT DIFFERENT FROM THE CULTURE MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BUT IT IS A WAKE UP CALL FOR ALL PASTORAL LEADERSHIP & MINISTRY LEADERS.  THERE ARE AREAS I STILL MAY STRUGGLE WITH NOW & THEN WITH THE TEMPTATION OR SEXUAL SIN WITH MY BODY BUT THE LORD HAS CONTINUALLY MADE A WAY OF ESCAPE BUT IN MY CASE HE WANTS ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE HAS ALREADY FORGIVEN ME OF IT WHEN I STRUGGLE & THE SIN HAS NO MORE DOMINION OVER ME.  PRAISE BE TO GOD!  ON THAT NOTE I NOTICED THOSE TEMPTATIONS GETTING LESS & LESS IN MY LIFE AS I SEEK TO PLEASE GOD WITH MY BODY & NOT TO GIVE IN TO THE LUSTS OF THE FLESH THROUGH IMAGES OF WOMEN OR TELEVISION WHICH DISPLAYS IT ALL WHICH IS NOT A PROBLEM BECAUSE I DO NOT WATCH TV ANYWAY. SO IN A SENSE IT HAS GOTTEN A WHOLE LOT BETTER THAN WHERE IT WAS BEFORE WHERE I HAD THE TEMPTATION OF MUSIC VIDEO’S OR PORNOGRAPHIC MOVIES IN MY HOME.  I THREW THEM ALL OUT IN THE TRASH YEARS AGO & TO THIS DAY DO NOT DESIRE TO EVEN LOOK AT THEM WHEN I GO TO A VIDEO STORE OR GO BACK TO THE STORE’S THAT CARRY THE RAP CD’S OR PORNOGRAPHY.  EVERY TIME I HEAR A RAP SONG PLAYING IN SOMEONE’S CAR I TUNE IT OUT WITH SOMETHING BIBLICAL OR SPIRITUAL & NO LONGER ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHTS.  THE MOVIES I WATCH NOW ARE MORE ON THE CHRISTIAN LEVEL SUCH AS THE “PASSION OF THE CHRIST” MOVIE DIRECTED BY MEL GIBSON OUT LAST YEAR & MAYBE A CLEAN COMEDY OR ADVENTURE MOVIE WHERE THERE IS HARDLY NO PORNOGRAPHY OR VULGAR DISPLAYS OF WOMEN INVOLVED.  I’M A DIFFERENT PERSON ALL AROUND SINCE GOD CHOSE TO SAVE ME BACK IN THE SUMMER OF 1999 IN A MUSIC MINISTER’S OFFICE AT MY FORMER CHURCH. NO LONGER DO I HAVE CABLE TELEVISION IN MY HOME WHERE THE TEMPTATION IS EVEN GREATER FOR MEN STRUGGLING NOWADAYS.  I DESIRE THE THINGS OF THE LORD MORE NOW THAN THE WORLDLY LUSTS.  MY GOSPEL TRACT DISTRIBUTION’S HAVE INCREASED MORE & MORE ON A CONSISTENT BASIS.  PLEASE PRAY FOR ME TOO AS I SEEK TO PLEASE MY LORD & SAVIOUR IN FULL TIME MINISTRY THIS YEAR.  CURRENTLY I’M A FAITHFUL SERVANT OF THE NEW SONG BIBLE FELLOWSHIP CHURCH IN BOWIE MD WHERE I’M NOT ONLY ACTIVE WITH MY FAMILY THERE WITH FELLOWSHIP ACTIVITIES IN & OUTSIDE OF THE CHURCH BUT I SERVICE IN NUMEROUS MINISTRIES THERE TO THE GLORY OF GOD.  HE IS USING ME AT MY LOWEST STATE IN WAYS I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. MY TEMPORARY E-MAIL ADDRESS IS IF YOU ARE LED TO REPLY BACK TO THIS MESSAGE.  WILL BE PRAYING TOO FOR ALL MEN WHO STRUGGLE WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUAL ADDICTIONS & FOR MYSELF.  IT’S TIMES LIKE THESE WHERE MEN NEED ACCOUNTABILITY SOMETHING THAT IS LACKING IN TODAY’S CULTURE BECAUSE MAN WANT’S TO BE INDEPENDENT.  AND PRAY FOR ME TOO AS I SEEK THAT FEMALE COUNTERPART AT MY CHURCH THAT ONLY THE LORD CAN PROVIDE IN MY STATE BECAUSE I KNOW SHE IS RIGHT THERE AT NEW SONG BUT SHE HAS NOT YET BEEN REVEALED TO ME IF IT’S GOD’S WILL.  IF SHE IS TRULY SERIOUS ABOUT THE THINGS OF THE LORD AS I TAKE THE MATTER IT WILL SHOW AS WE RELATE TO ONE ANOTHER.  SHE MUST ALSO HAVE A FEAR & REVERANCE FOR THE LORD & A LADY OF WISDOM.  THAT IS THE MATE THAT GOD WOULD HAVE FOR ME.  THERE IS ONE SINGLE LADY WHO I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN UPCOMING FELLOWSHIP WITH AT MY CHURCH BUT THIS IS ONE WHO IS VERY MUCH SERIOUS ABOUT HER WALK & IT IS EVIDENT.

I battle with this horriable sin.  It’s under control then it’s not.  It ususally happens in the dark of the night.  I have finally told my wife.  I asked her to help me as tears were running down my face.  At first she acted distant and as if she was repulsed.  That night she said if you need to check your email you better do it now, I am going to bed and so are you.  She is going to help me.  AMEN I believe that exposing my sin to the light is the only way.  Desires have come but they are not as strong.  I live with guilt that i could hurt the Jesus, my wife and my kids although they don’t know it.  Pray for me.  I can’t remember when pornography started.  It seems like it was something that was always there.  Not being raised Chistian it seems as we know, I had full range to do what ever my filthy heart desired. I am a youth pastor and I plan to tell someone elsr close.  I have not gone outside my marriage so I don’t feel ther need to confess to the church at large.
Thank you for this change to chat.

I think the church in general has a comfortable complacency when it comes to pornography.  This addiction’s prevalence in Christian culture is probably because it is such an internal battle and a mental battle that will never leave you.  I have struggled with an addiction to pornography for almost ten years now and it certainly has cost me more than I will ever now. 

The one thing that concerns me most is that pornography is not just a man’s issue but a child’s issue. Most men that I have spoken candidly with on this subject saw their first porn before they even knew how to masturbate.  This may not have had immediate effect, as is true in my case, but the desensitization and false fantasy begun during that time did lead to something deeper later in life.  Too many young men are being deprived of a true, holy virginity before they have ever had anything close to sex.

In the church, I can think of no worse addiction to have - almost wish I had been an alcoholic or a drug addict. Might have been given a little bit more grace or honesty.

I am also struggling with pornography; after reading the other postings on this site and looking at my case ; I can only say, pornography is a matter of choice.

I am not going to blame anyone or anything for my addiction and attraction toward pornography. I am going to make a stand today; pornography is SIN and I need to repent of it and continue to bring my desires into subjection.

After all self-control is a fruit of the spirit and we must seek the power of God to overcome any addiction whether it be food or pornography.

The last thing we all need not do is blame someone or something for our addiction. Remember the Garden of Eden story, the man blamed the woman and the woman blamed the serpent and as a result they were both banished {kicked out} from the garden.

We must all make a stand today, repent and seek God’s power to continue to live in subjection to his commands.

Thank you
Emmanuel