I am a single church leader.  Although I desire to be married one day to the woman God has for me, I am constantly challenged on my singleness because I am now 40 years old.  I sometimes think I should leave full time ministry because I am not married.  But I know that is the wrong approach.  Isn’t it better to be single?  Of course I know Paul says it’s better to be married than burn in your lust.  I’m not burning in my lust, in fact, after being burned by 2 previous engagements, I’m a bit gun shy and often suspect of women who approach me in the church.  Any comments?

Great post.  The great part of that list is when it is not a list but a life style, our whole life is better.  We experinces more joy, impact for God’s Kingdom and the lives of those around us is richer too.  It is a win/win situation for pastors and leaders.  God bless and have a great week!

Peter D. 

Just think if we could follow Pauls Ministry to the T How different would our leadership be in our churches today I was married at 42 and I found a big difference in my love of GOD and fellow man.

I would like to comment on being accessable. Probably the one of the greatest difficulties I have in the city is with pastors who make people wait weeks before they can see them. When there is crisis people need help now not days or weeks from now. My policy is that every contact from a person who is hurting is an important one and needs our attention as soon as possible.  I was amazed that over the 51 years I have been in ministry in New York that all of the issues on the list are in order in my personal life and work. It’s to bad all of this happens through maturity and experience and isn’t always as evident when you were young.  Thanks for the good word. Gene always as something good to say in a practical way. Sincerely, Chuck Rigby

Margaret,
My mother was a minister.  Although some denominations would have you believe that women should not be pastors, I strongly disagree with them.  Since you’re faithful to your family, God will be faithful to your leadership.  Pastors who put the church ahead of their family often fail, as they should, their priorities are wrong.

Mr. Rhoades, Have you ever pastored a church? Your messages often seem to me to lay an unrealistic burden on pastors - one almost too grievous to be born. I used to do that to pastors before I became one. After being in pastoral ministry for 23 years - actually after doing so for one year - I was much more gracious than you seem to be. I was just curious to know if you had ever pastored. You see, I somehow suspect Paul himself would have had a real problem living up to these requirements. Both he and Jesus were more interested in being the salt of the earth than its sugar. 

Best wishes,

Ken R. Unger

*****Response from Todd
Ken,

No, I’ve never been a senior pastor.  I was, however a worship pastor for nearly 18 years, and have served with and worked with a good number of senior pastors in my day.  I’m not sure what comments I made that you feel were ungracious.  These requirements/this list are not of my own concoction, Ken… they come straight from the NT as admonitions to Timothy.  If you feel my comments about the list were ungracious, then so be it.  I can’t take any credit for the ungracefulness of the list itself though… you’ll have to take that up with someone else. 

Todd

I knew you would’nt post my comment. This blog is so “nice” it makes Jesus sick. You have become nicer than God !!! We are supposed to be at war with anti-christ spirit, and it seems that you are the one to surrender. If you think my post hurts feelings, you would try to kill John the Baptist.

*********RESPONSE FROM TODD
Dalton,

Brother… I know not of what you speak.  (You make no sense).  I haven’t edited any comment from you off this blog.  The attempted murder charge of John the Baptist aside, you make absolutely no sense.

Todd

I think that there are nine items which even if the above fourteen are without fault and are maintaned in the highest degree, number fifteen nullifies all the others...a husband of one wife.  How many leaders who have been choosen by God, are shoved into the closet or the obscure part of the ministry because they are divorced and remarried.  Some times I wonder if that is not the most unpardonable sin!
In His Service:
Pastor Bill

It encourages me when something that I act on somehow later shows up in an article or sermon.  I am (was) a volunteer intern at my church directing the Junior High ministry.  Over the past few months I have noticed a decline in my family’sspiritual growth.  I work a full time job where I am out of the house for twelve hours a day and am trying to build a ministry that I am extremely passionate about in addition to that.  Until recently I had been doing 80% of the work and just barely allowing the other 20% go to others who work along side me.  I tried giving away more of the responsibility in order to give my family the time they deserve but I found other ways to keep busy within the context of ministry.  I say all this to justify the fact that I stepped down from my position in order to fullfil my responsibility to my family first.  I did this with the intention of returning to ministry after I am able to establish boundaries and help restore my family’s walk with Christ.  This decision has not gone over well, but I stand firm no matter the consequences.  It broke my heart having to abandon the kids that I minister to but it has been breaking my heart even worse watching my children’s relationship with God diminish.

Peter D:  Tithing is a must for Christians and especially leaders in today’s church.  It’s a mindset that it all belongs to God and trusting that He will take care of your needs—the law of reciprocity is 100% valid—so valid, in fact, that it is promised throughout both Old & New Testaments.  Of course it goes “beyond that” but we’re just talking here about individual issues here related to leadership.  However I do strongly agree with your comment about putting your family before ministry and women in ministry.

And Pastor Bill, you are right about pastors being divorced.  My husband is a pastor, was divorced 25 years ago.  His dad told him once that would be an issue for us, but he told his dad “I only have one wife.” He does.

Oh my gosh, I’m sure that will bring some “Christianese” comments!

I’m not sure this comment thing is good or not......seems like some folks just want to be contentious.  If I just wanted to argue, I’d call the congregation.  I was thinking this would be a source of encoragement, not opinions and comments from people who feel more powerful if they are correcting their peers.  Geez!

Todd, I always enjoy your emails and articles.  I think I’ll just stick to that in the future.  The only reason I posted a comment is because our church has been looking into this issue (leadership) and actually looking at material to use in training leadership.  Thanks for all you do.

I must kindly disagree with Ken...although I totally agree with the fact that there are many churches that exist soley to make people feel good.  I’m just not sure that has anything to do with the article.

I think the things that Todd posts are always helpful and challenging and I don’t see a problem with the characteristics listed above.  I think a pastor needs to have all of those things somewhat under control in order to be an effective leader.  The only one I will throw up caution on is Availability.  This can really be an issue in larger churches where the SP can’t afford to meet with everyone who needs to be counseled.  It’s just not practical or wise.  Other pastors in the church must step in to meet these needs.

Ken, which of the above characteristics do you take issue with?

What is interesting to me is the reactions of people to what is posted. I believe Todd puts them on the site to generate conversations, and engage our thinking. If you disagree, so, fine, you disagree. You agree, cool. For the most part the replies are fun to read. Once in while someone gets up a head of steam and fires off. Okay whatever.

We all come from different situation and settings. Some are more conservative than I am other are more liberal, whatever that means. ken may have a points but I do not have to agree but he makes me think, makes me remember why I have the point I do. I don’t know what Dalton’s thing is, but there ya go. I enjoy this site because to sparks conversation and makes me think about some of the issues. it is fun.