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Steps to Take When Leaving a Church
A very insightful post over at ImageForth. They write, "I’ve mentioned before that I’ve served on 5 different church staffs over the past 25 years. That means I’ve said “I’m Leaving” four times. Saying those words is never easy, at least it shouldn’t be, but it may be easier depending on your situation. (Some staff members will know what I mean). Here are some steps to take when you are leaving your church..."
---Make sure that your decision to leave is one that is God directed and not one based on feelings. Don’t make a rash decision in the heat of a disagreement or during a difficult season.
--Tell your pastor as as soon as possible. Some make it easy to discuss leaving. For others it would be best to not discuss leaving with them until you are sure God is leading you to leave. Unfortunately some pastors think a staff member leaving is like a person committing treason and they treat them likewise. (I really have a difficult time with this type of thinking. But have actually experienced it personally.)
--Be totally honest as to why you are leaving. Don’t lie or stop from sharing your heart. Your words can comfort and also help your pastor understand why you are leaving. Share the good and bad, but do it privately if it is bad.
--Work out an agreeable last day. (One strong suggestion: don’t stay longer than 2 weeks after the announcement has been made that you are leaving)
--Ask for an opportunity to tell leaders within your particular ministry area before informing the entire church. You’ve spent a lot of time with these people.
--They deserve to be informed before the entire church.
--Tell the church only after you have told your pastor. (Want to make a huge mistake, don’t follow this step!)
--Expect people to react to your leaving in these ways:
Anger
Resentment
Withdrawal
Happiness
Fear
Excitement
A combination of sadness and joy
--Be ready to feel like an outsider. As soon as you announce that you are leaving you will begin feeling disconnected and left out of the loop. Some of that is normal and some is necessary. Just get ready for it. It will happen.
There are a couple more you’ll want to read here...
FOR DISCUSSION: They say that breaking up is hard to do… what’s the best thing you’ve done in transition to make things go well? Or, what’s the biggest mistake you’ve made when leaving that we wish you could re-do?
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This post has been viewed 1116 times and was added on April 18, 2007 by Todd Rhoades. Filed under: Church Administration Personnel & Staffing Share this post with a friend right now! View reactions to this post at other blogs... You can really help us out by subscribing to our free RSS feed with your favorite feed reader, or here at Bloglines. Also, you can add us to your favorites at Technorati.
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My name is Todd Rhoades, the 'behind the scenes' guy here at MMI. I'm also on the team at Leadership Network (although that doesn't mean that they endorse everything I write here). In my past life, I was the developer of a of a website called ChurchStaffing.com. I hope you'll enjoy your time here and tell all your colleagues about MMI! 
MondayMorningInsight.com | PO Box 446 | Bryan, OH 43506 |
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Posted by
Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 8:59 AM
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Posted by
Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 12:43 PM
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Posted by jawbone
Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 1:57 PM
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Posted by Jan
Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 9:24 PM
Post Your Comments:Even when you do all these things perfectly, sometimes you will leave and friendships you’ve made will NOT travel with you. This can happen no matter HOW “correctly” you do all these things, so brace yourself.
And tell your pastor first, this means EVEN BEFORE you tell people in your inner circle of influence or whatever.
Good points Peter.
I would only add that when you move through this process it is imperative that you take the high road in every aspect of the transition. Demonstrating the highest moral, ethical, and spiritual grace you can muster. This will help those around you but it will also help you as you move on with a clear conscience.
Al
I like the entire column except the strong suggestion to not stay more than 2 weeks. I believe an orderly transition is prefereable to leaving abruptly. As long as you are committed to maintaining the momentum of your area of ministry, there is no bad blood between you and the pastoral leadership, and the pastor and elders are in agreement for you to stay longer, you should stay and prepare the way for your successor.
I’ve been in transition before and am in transition now. Each time the process has been open, and slower but smoother and more amicable than a speedy departure.
No need to agree or disagree, this has been my experience.
If you are leaving for negative reasons, try to leave the ministry in the best possible place to carry on without you. Too many times I’ve seen a staff person bent on destroying all they worked so hard to develop.
The best thing I’ve done in transition is to not rush into anything and prep others to take leadership. I think my big strength in ministry has been too train others to go for it. This has served me well in leaving. I’ve left with confidence knowing that my vision was going forward through others with the same vision, even if they change things and do things differently.
My biggest mistake in leaving was letting the senior pastor talk me into staying another year. He ripped up my resignation and “wouldn’t accept it.” I knew it was time to go. And the following year I’d committed to under pressure, was the most difficult year of my life.
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