CS, in you view is there the existence of something called, “common sense”? Does the Bible tell me not to stick my tongue on a frozen metal pole? Not to sniff gasolijne? Besides, he wasn’t talking about the process, you will notice each point begins with the word WHEN. Matt 18 only says when your bro has trespassed; is that the only time confrontation needs to take place? Jesus speaks of a process. Would Dr. Phil telling you not to lick a frozen pole have more weight than if CS said it? The truth is, licking a frozen pole is not wise. Knowing WHEN and WHEN NOT to confront, looks like good common sense to me whether it came from CS, Moses, or Oprah. Or even Mr. Foster.

When the first action or reaction in any situation is too look for fault or error

bishopdave:

I agree wholeheartedly with your last point.  Whenever I get out of a meeting, conversation, phone call, or discussion that has some potential for ramifications, I will always send a follow-up e-mail that says, “Here’s what we talked about and what we agreed...” That way, if I misunderstood something, it can be clarified, and if the person comes back later with conflicting information, I can point to the e-mail and show that there were no objections to the assertions.

Going back to your first point, yes, there is something in my mind called “common sense.” (Although, in watching the world go by, it does seem less common nowadays.) And, you’re right, we don’t have to have the Bible say something like, “don’t stick your tongue to a pole in winter.” That would be silly.

When I hear wisdom or recommendations coming from a pastor, generally, I am accustomed to seeing some sort of scriptural basis behind it.  Now, I know that this does not need to happen all the time, like a pastor saying, “You see, planting your bulbs after the frost is a good idea because the Bible says...” That would be ridiculous.  In a topic delving into relationships and confrontation where there are “gimmes” like Matthew 18, though, I would have expected to see some verse to go along with those thoughts.  Or at least some Biblical story or precedence.  Otherwise, it can sound like pop psychology.

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CS

Sorry you’re having to have that type of meeting today Todd. Just prayed for you and all involved.

Interesting timing on this piece. Sometimes confrontation is needed when another person’s actions cause others to feel unsafe around them. Policies and procedures are helpful to have in place before some thing happens instead of afterwards. Would we prefer to not have to think this way in ministry? Absolutely. Does that change the need to do so- absolutely not.

I’m stopping with having said that much… (Leonard - hold me accountable here.)