If you admire and revere the writings and teachings of Rob Bell or Brian McLaren - you might be Emergent.

If you think you need to score points before being able to speak out against homosexuality - you might be Emergent.

If you look not to the word of God for your answers and worldview but rely mostly on how something makes you and others feel, you might be Emergent.

In Christ,
Bill

If the criteria for a small group location is having a Starbucks within 3 blocks.

If your idea of a relaxing day off is arguing with someone you’ve never met before on a blog…

then you might be emergent

If you believe flower arranging is a spiritual gift

If the invitation song ar the end of service is “The Living Years” by Mike and the Mechanics.

You might be visiting an emergent church if you bring your Bible to service and you are immediately greeted with “you must be visiting, I see you brought your Bible”.

Or....if a member does bring a Bible to church, they bring 15 different versions to be able to follow along with the sermon.

If you use your “Free Vial of Miracle Spring Water” to clean your iPod video screen.

Wow, definitly think the emergent church thing is bad now. Cussing, drinking, smoking, weird hair.  Is this the Highschool emergent church?  Gee, now people can just go to the church instead of a bar, because sounds the same emergent style.

If you believe flower arranging is a spiritual gift

If the invitation song ar the end of service is “The Living Years” by Mike and the Mechanics.

You might be visiting an emergent church if you bring your Bible to service and you are immediately greeted with “you must be visiting, I see you brought your Bible”.

Or....if a member does bring a Bible to church, they bring 15 different versions to be able to follow along with the sermon.

NOW THAT IS FLAT OUT FUNNY!!!!

BTW… remember, there’s always a little bit of truth in comedy… hmmmm.

That would funny hmmm not funny hmmmm… lol

If you use your “Free Vial of Miracle Spring Water” to clean your iPod video screen.

ROTF

You cancel your church picnic because the big name professional football player that was supposed to be there can’t make it to give motivational speech.

You make all your members sign a “covenent” of do’s and dont’s. Now there’s a great combination (Emergent and Legalistic)

Your building budget starts out at 3 million, then goes to six million, but your told the bigger size is “having more faith”

You replace Sunday School with home groups.

You replace Sundat School with “book studies”

ROTFLMTEO

Wow, definitly think the emergent church thing is bad now. Cussing, drinking, smoking, weird hair. Is this the Highschool emergent church? Gee, now people can just go to the church instead of a bar, because sounds the same emergent style.

How true it is jade… and that’s just “Might BE” imagine the REAL emergent church… hmmm.

funny hmmm not funny haha....

You might be emergent if on the Sunday before Easter when the congregation is asked to wave their palms high, you pull a PDA from your pocket and wave it . . .

Funny stuff wendi! lol

Might be emergent if you think Deuteronomy is actually a math class for christians to know what Numbers is....

Tim said:
“If you use your “Free Vial of Miracle Spring Water” to clean your iPod video screen.”

Peter Popoff has miracle water for people who want it.  Go here:
http://www.peterpopoff.org/

It’s beyond belief how a guy like this can be allowed on Christian TV!

No joke, he also has a show on “comedy central” also (see his TV listings link).

...Bernie

You might be fundamental if you place theology over an actual relationship with God.

No, the Carson would definately be Johnny--let’s not confuse “Emergent” with “trendy.” I just got the joke, though---it’s like John Letterman’s Top Ten Lists.... take it from there! However, the Ryan Seacrest hair comment definitely lets me know the author is from mid-America, in this case Nashville. ha ha As a person from Los Angeles, please don’t take your fashion cues from mainstream male talk show hosts. They don’t represent people who are actually from places like Los Angeles and New York (and no, nobody in Orange County calls their homeplace the “OC") and think for yourself when you want to dress yourself. Emergent is about being who God made you, not like some trendy tool on tv.

Anyway, I’m getting too serious… I do think the Buddhist bookstore joke is a bit out there, though. Let’s not confuse “open-minded” with Universalism. As far as people’s comments go, I think the Starbuck’s one was off because a lot of “Emergent” types would be anti-corporate, and would prefer to meet in a Mom-and-Pop coffee joint, I will take “wierd hair” as a compliment, and no, you would know RIGHT AWAY that a church ISN’T Emergent if they invite a big-name football player to speak at the church picnic. That would be called a Campus Crusade function; totally different philosophy!How about

You Might Be Emergent If:

People ask you if a “Christ-follower” is the same as a Christian, and if a “community of Christ-followers” is the same as a “church”

You forgot to check the film’s rating on the video clip you were going to use as a sermon illustration

You didn’t notice the girl next to you kneeling during worship, ‘cause you had your hands up

You can quote Chrysostom, Wesley, Calvin, Barth, and Bono

You know the difference between chablis and chardonnay

You have a tattoo you don’t regret

Rob said; I just wonder what the early church who met in homes would think of the person who thought home groups rather than Sunday School was a bad idea?

I’m quite sure those early home groups who studied the “Bible” in their homes would be discusted at seeing the replacement of the Bible being taught, to a “book discussion”.

It’s a sad state of affairs when we can’t laugh at ourselves - whether we’re emergent, traditional, contemporary, liturgical, charismatic, fundamental, Democrat, Republican, Green, blue, yellow, white, brown, black, rainbow, fuschia (sp?)....

I attended Youth Specialities’ Emergent Church convention in February and made an interesting discovery:  “emergent” is pretty much beyond definition.  I’ve seen churches defined as emergent that do nothing more than target 20-somethings, have a “house band,” and turn the lights down; and I know other churches defined as emergent that don’t meet on Sunday mornings, think of 20-something as attendance not age, and don’t have music at all.