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Ten Ways to Grow Your Church Without God…

Orginally published on Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 7:45 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Here's an interesting article by Ray Baumann. It seems that God has now gone on record as hating logos, web design, Starbucks, leadership, phone books, theatres, media, school programs, technology, video, dramas, egg hunts, and networking...

For the record, here are the ten ways to grow your church WITHOUT God:

1. “Leadership is key.” This will be my number one way to grow the church without God. Thinking back, I would say that if I had a board comprised of wealthy businessmen, I’d have a great foundation for growing a church. You need resources to reach the community and what better way than to have many resources at your fingertips?

2. You want to create an oasis at church; let’s take a few ideas from Starbucks. Starbucks created a community of coffee drinkers. Starbucks is less about coffee and more about a place to commune. That is what you want to reproduce on Sunday; a place where people want to gather.

3. Next, your church has to offer something others don’t. You have to ask yourself who is your target audience. Find out what your audience wants and give it to them. This includes the type of music, programs, length of service and other variables. You want people to know that all of their needs can be met at church.

4. Spend money on logo and website design. You have to out market the church down the street. Mass mailings, newspaper ads and website traffic are key.

5. Advertise in the phone book, at movie theatres and during school programs. Call the media every time you have an event to get free publicity.

6. Be creative with your presentations. Be sure to utilize all of the latest technology for your cool short video illustrations. To get the full effect, you must have video projectors and plasma TVs. Lighting is also essential to set the mood during services.

7. Don’t let anyone come to church and leave without getting their information. You have one chance to make a first impression. When you have a visitor they must be greeted and shown around the facility and introduced to other church members. Giving them a free gift, like a thumb drive with the church’s information preloaded, is a nice gift.

8. Always be planning for your next event, whether it is an Easter egg hunt or Christmas drama. Every two months something big must be occurring to create excitement.

9. Have sermons focused around life issues such as parenting, managing money, eating right, getting along with others and making the best of your life.

10. Network. If you are going to grow a church, people must know who you are. Make it a routine to eat at the same places frequently. Always be involved with whatever is happening in the community.

Here, very quickly and briefly, are ten ways to slowly kill your church WITH God:

1. Pews. Everyone loves a good hard pew. And, they’re biblical!
2. Steeples. Gosh, they’re pretty, and they point toward heaven.
3. A huge cross on the wall. They will know we are Christians by our cross.
4. Committees out the wazoo. Consensus is a good thing.
5. Hymnals. I think Gutenberg was on to something.
6. Chick tracts. Repentance can best be taught through the use of comics.
7. Suits and ties. If it was good enough for Jesus…
8. The Organ. Nothing else need be said here.
9. Walking the Isle. How will people come to Christ with no isle?
10. A really jammin’ bell choir. There’s nothing like Fanny Crosby set to bells.

You can read more here.

Come on people. Leather recliners are no less holy than padded pews. And projected lyrics are not sinful. Neither is advertising or starbucks. (Or steeples or hymnals).

As I’ve said before… if pastors were in this to grow something or make lots of money, there are a lot of easier ways to do it than to pastor a church. Anyone in ministry longer than 10 minutes knows that.

Your thoughts?

This post has been viewed 3504 times so far.

There are 16 Comments:

Posted by Leonard

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 10:15 AM

This is really funny is a sad kind of way.
Posted by

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 10:19 AM

Ten Ways to Grow Your Church Without God…

Translation - Anything you do that one would be considered new - is a sin and separate from God.

Unfortunately for our dear brother here he misses one important detail: The church he has is not a replica of the Church of 250 years ago. Hard benches, no piano or organ, the usher poked people to keep them awake, men on one side women on the other, just to name a few characteristics. So, get right with God my brother, burn those “padded pews” take a sledge to the organ, rip up the carpet, take that mike off your pulpit and above all that, fill in that “ heated Baptismal” if a river was good enough for Jesus it should be good enough for you!
I love it when we have “selective” outrage! It shows our hypocrisy so well…

Al
Posted by

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 10:25 AM

What if I do all those ten things, but still have God’s presence in my life. Will I be okay then?

Actually, the article is a little satirical, but makes a good point. The point of doing church is to celebrate and live the presence of Jesus in our lives, and we can do all those things if we want to, and if we have Jesus in our midst, we’ll be doing great. THANKS!
Posted by

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 10:53 AM

This cracked me up! Thanks for the bit of sarcasm to go along with this.

There is one good point the old codger made: 9. Have sermons focused around life issues such as parenting, managing money, eating right, getting along with others and making the best of your life.

He’s got some churches there!
Posted by slw

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 12:27 PM

Nothing matters when God is there.
Posted by eric wright

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 1:03 PM

I think a person needs to read the entire article. The whole article makes a good point about the place of such things. These are tools, but not the focus. Our focus needs to be squarely on Jesus Christ.

If we focus on these things, then we do miss the point. But if we focus on Christ and then these things take place, that is a whole different situation.
Posted by

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 1:13 PM

Agreed, Eric; and point well taken.

The article stated: “Church leadership must decide who is going to grow their church. You either grow it with man or with God. God’s way produces disciples changed for life; man’s way produces attendees that come as they are and leave as they were.”

I’m the first one to admit that sometimes the pendulum swings too far the wrong way. Sometimes people come as they are and leave different; but that difference has nothing to do with accepting Christ. This does happen sometimes, in some places. Relevance for relevance sake is nothing.

But to go to the other extreme and say that churches who use technology or music or whatever are doing so “without God” is also a blanket statement that is most usually very false.

I like articles like this because they help me think through things. And as always, I cry out for balance.

Todd
Posted by Leonard

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 1:57 PM

Eric,
My problem with the list is that it makes opponents of things that are not opponents. Nothing on the list is in opposition to Christ, but its presentation is such as to make them opponents. It is not as if the church in this country was doing so amazingly great before these things came about. It communicates and lumps into a big pile most everyone who wants their church to grow as shallow, number crunching leaders. It sends the message that anyone who does these things is relying on the wisdom of men rather than God.
Posted by eric wright

Thursday, July 05, 2007 at 3:29 PM

Todd created a top ten list of ways to slowly kill your church with God, and yet there are people who are using those methods and growing. Nothing on Todd’s list is in opposition to Christ.

His list led up to his statement “All of the above could probably have come out of a Marketing 101 textbook. Not everything on the list is bad, but it is the order that I had them in and what was missing.” Notice he said the priorities that “I” had them in. If those things are our focus, then we have severely missed the boat. God uses them, but they are not what builds the church. I know that sounds like double-speak.

I think our first priority is to seek God...those things are just tools. I am a fan of using whatever works, but I want to use only what I know God wants me to use after I have sought Him. Most of the time he doesn’t tell me which type of seating to place in my sanctuary (auditorium).

I don’t think he meant that churches who use these things do so “without God.” But he did imply that a person can grow a church solely by using good management and doing the right stuff and leave God completely out of the picture. Todd, you come in contact with a lot of churches, is there ever a time where you feel that someone is building their kingdom and not God’s, and they are using all of these techniques?

I think the author is simply stating, not as well as he could or should, that a pastor can build his own kingdom. This is noticed by focusing on the wrong things...namely, not God.

I think that is worth taking a look at. I want both. I want a growing congregation of people who seek God. I didn’t always want that. There was a time, when I was planting my first church, that I did all the right things (contemporary music, the right image, logos and websites, etc.) and my priority was not on doing what God wanted. I was building my own kingdom, but I looked like everyone else’s church.

I agree with both Todd and Leonard. I just don’t think he is critiquing the way it first seems. I think he did these things and found that he had left God out of the equation.
Posted by mandy

Friday, July 06, 2007 at 8:01 AM

wow. this article makes some intense points. unfortunately, i think the church has a responsibility to connect with the community around her—let others know she’s there—make visitors welcome. we have to be hospitable and inviting. that doesn’t mean recliners, but it does mean considering the perspective of those coming through our doors, as well as those who won’t step foot in our doors.
relevance? or connecting?
as long as the church is seeking God’s Will and studying God’s Word, then methods of reaching out should be allowed for. this is a step up from most churches who do a poor job of welcoming guests and an even poorer job of inviting outsiders in!
Posted by Daniel

Friday, July 06, 2007 at 8:11 AM

Dangit! Why must I be the nitpicker? Isle means island. Aisle means… well… you know, it’s the ol’ conversion road.
I like crosses in churches. But then I liked stained glass too. Call me old-fashioned…
Posted by

Friday, July 06, 2007 at 8:42 AM

Daniel,

I believe Dangit is actually two words.

Todd
Posted by Daniel

Friday, July 06, 2007 at 2:17 PM

Not the way I say it… ...
Posted by

Monday, December 22, 2008 at 7:01 PM

Don’t miss the point. The writer was simply making a statement about our need to control our own destiny by using the worlds resources to “build” a church. God builds the church. I don’t believe that the he was saying that technology does not have a place in the church. We have to do all we can to get the message of Christ out to our communities and the world and we must be socially and culturally relevant. It’s just that when the “bells and whistles” become the priority, we have taken over and God, always the gentleman, will move out of the way.
Posted by

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 at 8:01 AM

Not much emphasis is made on the leadership of the Holy Spirit even when such teachings are delivered.

It is good to apply modern management techniques and technologies but such must be directed by the Holy Spirit.

Honestly speaking, we have less God-consciousness in today’s church. Many prefer hearing the teachings they like not the one that will change their lives. The Church now resembles a common social gathering.

Ministers no longer test their techniques whether it leads their congregation closer to God or not.

Let us focus on the goal more, then we will be selective about the methods and tools. To choose only the most appropriate ones.
Posted by

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 at 9:53 AM

Remember we have to move slowly and carefully to surgically remove these things because the people are more important than the “way we want things to be” too. The same way we do not rip someones cigerettes out of their hand and scrap off there crude tatoo with a dull rusty spoon the day after they get saved, We peel their fingers off these things one at a time as we feed them God’s word and let them know these things are not biblical and the only thing that we should hold that tightly to is Jesus and his word. And o yeah prayer lots of prayer because the Holy Spirit is the only one that really changes people.

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Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a Christ-follower, husband, father and I love to connect leaders with other leaders. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step on Twitter.