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Terror Plot on SBC Churches Foiled
A plan to sneak actual Wine instead of Grape Juice into the communion cups at a number of key Southern Baptist Churches was thwarted earlier today...
Purgatorio reports the plot was uncovered by a special SBC anti-alcohol unit known as the RES #5 Squad. Apparently, after loosening him up with a few cocktails, the Squad got a confession from a disgruntled former Founders Ministry member. He informed them of a secret coalition of young Calvinistic Baptist bloggers intent on forcing members of the denomination to drink.
A former president of the denomination, who wishes to remain anonymous, reflected “Had they succeeded, and had Baptists actually consumed real wine, the results would have been catastrophic and blown the SBC to bits”.
If convicted, the conspirators could be forced to go to Jack Chick evangelism training and give up their Derek Webb CD’s.
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This post has been viewed 2361 times and was added on August 18, 2006 by Todd Rhoades. Filed under: Miscellaneous Church Leadership Humor Share this post with a friend right now! View reactions to this post at other blogs... You can really help us out by subscribing to our free RSS feed with your favorite feed reader, or here at Bloglines. Also, you can add us to your favorites at Technorati.
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I'm Todd Rhoades... the MMI guy. I'm also on the team at Leadership Network (although that doesn't mean that they endorse everything I write here). In my past life, I was the founder and developer of a website named ChurchStaffing.com.
MondayMorningInsight.com | PO Box 446 | Bryan, OH 43506 |
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Posted by
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 7:39 AM
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Posted by
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 8:23 AM
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Posted by bob
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 9:59 AM
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Posted by
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 10:15 AM
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Posted by
Friday, August 18, 2006 at 2:55 PM
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Posted by josh
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at 1:33 PM
Post Your Comments:Hee hee… I love the Chick comment the best. Those tracts are THE BEST! And now they’re on-line, digital, new, and improved! Thanks, Todd, this oughtta undo some of the last few days’ damage here at MMI…
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THAT explains a LOT!
Thanks for providing some laughter on a topic that is really quite sad!
Ummmm, I don’t get why this is humorous. The SBC takes VERY SERIOUSLY its own abstaination, and ANY threat to the practice and doctrine of the SBC in regards to said practice will be dealt with in the MOST SEVERE of manners, uh.... verily!
Why just this morning I was talking to “Upper G. I. Barber” who as you know is a distinquished veteran of service to these fine UNITED STATES of AMERICA and also a world reknown authority on the doctrine of ab"stain"ation.... and he said “Verily, this is a great day in the war on secularism’s inflitration of the elect!”
I say, let them boys be made an ex-zample to other infidels who partake in shenanigans and hooliganisms!!
Com-m-muni-mum was extra h-h-happy at my ch-church this week. Hiccup…
I saw where you were a Derek Webb fan. We just finished wrapping up an interview on our podcast with him. Thought you might enjoy it.
Derek Webb Podcast
Thanks!
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