Orginally published on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 at 11:31 AM
by Todd Rhoades
Kenny Luck has an interesting article featured at Pastors.com titled "Developing Men Who Take on the Heavy Lifting of the Ministry." Kenny writes…
The reason men present such a challenge to the church is not because they are unmotivated or unchallenged or lacking opportunities to connect. To use a baseball (U.S.) anaology, the church is simply not throwing most men ?pitches? they can hit.It's not as easy as it looks to get a mass of men to 'the plate' -- where they can then begin to run the purpose-driven bases. Even if you are successful at getting them to participate in a spiritual growth campaign, it?s another challenge to move them around the bases in a way that resonates deeply with their manhood.
In order to feel confident about the spiritual process and pathway ahead, there are some definite dos and don?ts when it comes to getting large numbers of men into the discipleship experience. This should be mission-critical in your journey toward health as a church. If you want more competent and reliable leaders who take over the heavy lifting of the ministry, here are some ideas to explore.
Fast Balls of Super High Commitment. We have lost so many opportunities to reach men in the last decade because we have set the bar too high and they give up before they even start. If the only option for a man to connect with other men in the church is a one-year spiritual discipleship program or to go ?on mission,? you?ve lost him. Your average man will say to himself: ?I am not there yet.? Typically, if a man has sin or character issues that he deems incongruent with the ?high commitment? profile, he will stay away.
Curve Balls of Heavy Theology. There is theology -- and then there is theology that ?plays.? Men fear what they don?t know and are constantly measuring their ability to connect to people or situations based on their level of knowledge. If the ?feel? or offerings of your men?s culture are overly theological, most men will assess their Bible knowledge and self-select out of the program. On the other hand, we should take our cue from Luther, who said, ?My temptations are my masters of divinity.?
Off-Speed Emotional Pitches. Can you name three things which cause emotional discomfort in the average unchurched man? Try these on: singing, socializing, and sharing. Ironically, most men?s events, programs, retreats, or small groups place a high premium on all of these. Men treat emotions like smelly socks: They put them in the back of the drawer or in the hamper. They are not something they cozy up to! So when you seek to build a men?s culture that is attractive, you have to balance the fact that most men are in emotional kindergarten and that their DNA is built to avoid these exercises.
You can read the whole article here at Pastors.com.
What do you think? How is your church doing in discipleshiping men to do the 'heavy lifting?' I'd love to hear your comments
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Looking at my own life, I can only point to myself. I needed to make a decision to serve Christ, in sacrifice to my personal desires. Rather than trying to be sneaky in getting men to participate, as the article looks to me, maybe there needs to be more exhortation and vision-casting of what the man could become, in Christ.
...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247
Leading men’s group for discipleship
I have found through my experience when leading men’s groups they tend to sit back and watch to see how to interact with the group. I make it a point to be extremely informal and solicit open discussion. I made it a point that everyone knows the rules and the goal of the men’s meeting. The mission is stated and reinforced often. Our mission for the men’s group was to grow in Christ and in the knowledge of God’s word to become better men and fathers. So up front everyone knew what we were getting together for and we only had one main rule that everyone signed their name to. It was that when someone openly confessed the need for help it would not be discussed outside the group. This helped after a while to really address needs that men rarely voice openly. If the leader of the group or its members ever betrays the confidence of the group you will never be able to enter into character building and the breaking of strongholds with the men. Whenever someone confesses something no matter how bad the problem or sin don’t make a big deal about it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 is the scripture we used. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
I quickly found out that over half of the men attending did not have the basic understanding of the Christian faith and doctrine. This is a reality that is widespread within the church today. One thing that I did that I found very profitable was to give everyone a piece of paper and have them write down a confidential question that they always wanted to ask but never did. We would then read the questions out loud and have a group discussion and look to see what the bible had to say on the subject. Some of the questions asked were extremely basic and shocked me in that some of the men had been Christians all their lives. The questions helped me plan the topics of the bible studies.
We always reserved 45 minutes for bible study and prayer time to pray for each other. We didn’t gather to drink coffee and talk about sports we gathered to seek God as men and to pray for our families and each other. As we fasted and studied together the Lord begin moving in our lives. There were some men I never would have suspected bound by cocaine, pornography, extreme temperament at home against family only and not publicly, men who were set free by seeking Jesus and are free to this day.
We need to stop the commercialization of church and return to preaching Christ crucified and allow the Spirit of God to draw men unto himself as we are faithful in presenting the full gospel of Jesus Christ. The article above typifies the errant church theology in assuming as the world does, that men must have some worldly draw to get them interested into attending a men’s meeting. It is this very thought that causes failure in that whatever you choose to use whether card games, dinners, sport shows they leave the men unchanged. I challenge you to hold a men’s meeting simply entitled “learning to be more like Jesus at home, at work, and at play.” Simply tell the men if you want to mature in Christ then come, if you don’t stay home. You will be surprised how many men will show up that are serious. Don’t make the mistake of looking at numbers and be faithful as a leader to pour yourself whole heartily in preparing the material for the meeting and also the room that you will be meeting in. Get there early and do spiritual warfare on behalf of the men and ask the Holy Spirit to fill the place with his presence. A leader must have a routine of prayer and fasting. It should be a way of life so that you are always ready to hear the prompting of the Holy Spirit. This was the example that Christ gave to us as he taught his disciples. It worked for him it will work for us. God bless you
Daniel wrote:
“One thing that I did that I found very profitable was to give everyone a piece of paper and have them write down a confidential question that they always wanted to ask but never did. We would then read the questions out loud and have a group discussion and look to see what the bible had to say on the subject.”
Excellent idea, thanks! I think I’ll use that for my group. I also appreciate many of your other points.
...Bernie
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/247
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