Great article - though I think you missed a very important one.  I’ve found this in EVERY ministry I’ve worked in.  Passive-aggressive leaders/people.  People who beat around the bush and never outright ask something.  Later, if what they wanted you to do isn’t done (which wasn’t clear in teh first place), the blame comes out, but it’s usually in a very vague and passive way that leaves the hearer in the dark.

Also, another communication-killer is the person/leader who does not trust co-workers/employees:  continually checking up (several times a day) on something they asked you to do, even after it’s been accomplished and they have been made aware of that fact.

What do you do about the pastor who communicates effectively at church, but recluses at home with passive, self-absorbed behavior? Why can it be justified in a pastor’s mind that he only has to communicate well with others and not his wife?

I can understand Rev. De Saverino’s frustration but can I share some thoughts from the other side?  I have a very large staff and when I have an opening, I may receive 100-200 resumes.  Some do not meet the requirements that I list with Church Staffing and with 100-200 resumes it is hard to contact each one to say we are not interested in them for a position.  The larger the church the more responsibility that falls on the senior pastor. 
Just another perspective.

I think it’s great the article gives ‘do this now’ challenges. Churches are often places well-known for bad communication and it would be wonderful if we’d turn that around wouldn’t it?

This article is great admonishment.  In my experience working with volunteers, number’s 1 and 2 are VERY common.  I can’t count the times people have told me, “I filled out a card to help with _____, and no one ever called me.” Or, the only contact a volunteer has from the leader is when we need to know if he/she is planning to sign up again next year.

I’d also add another; using general/impersonal communication when personal communication is needed.  An “I appreciate you” form letter never works like a personal note, or better yet, a cup of coffee at the Starbucks near the church.  A bulletin insert or platform announcement isn’t an invitation to serve – it is nothing more than a way to disseminate information.  Did you ever feel “personally invited” to a party by an add in the local paper?

Wendi

On the negative stuff, here’s another good question to ask:  Are you the one when a new idea is proposed quickly talking about how “the people” will resist it?

I am a lay person and enjoy working in the church. My wife works every other surday with the Pre-Kindergarten students.  (We do not have a student in any class, our children are grown) Now the comment:  We are members and have gone to this church for 5 years.  NEVER RECEIVED A PHONE CALL OR HAD A CONTACT WITH A PASTOR WHERE THE PASTOR INITIATED THE CONVERSATION. I should say pastors because we are a several thousand attendees on Sunday.  There are many , like over 100, employees.  I understand the pastoral staff can’t make contacts to all the thousands.  WOULD THEY CONTACT US IF WE QUIT SENDING OUR MONTHLY CHECK?  Maybe that would be a great experiment.  I actually am not as bitter as I sound, I am just expressing a “crowd” perspective.

Forget the bulletins, emails and newsletters.  Do you contact people in your church?

Greetings in Jesus!

Brother Harold, I feel what you are saying.  This is more than communications ... this is relational. 

Assoc. Pastors must “shepherd” as well as administrate departments of the ministry.  Wendi asked a pertinent question for a ministry the size you described, but if the department pastor only communicates for ministry activity purposes and never “shepherds” the volunteer staff, then “crowd perspective” is all too real!

This is exactly why Jethro advised Moses as he did.  A ministry the size of your church, requires small groups for shepherding.  Notice what Jethro said to Moses, he asked: “what is this thing that you are doing to the people?” (Ex. 18:14ff; KJV) This is a challenge for ministries to be sure, but necessary to keep the sheep healthy & happy.  Wendi’s point is very significant though, our volunteer staff (sheep) must be willing to accept shepherding from the assoc. shepherds, as Jethro advised.

Brother Harold, to answer your question, yes we contact our people and have a process established to help us.  But, yes, we blow it also.  There is always room to improve and thank you for bringing this to the table.

Because He Lives

Having served in churches of all sizes (from 5000 to 50 and in between) I see the advantages of every size. I must say that I’m taken aback by someone choosing to attend a rather large church (1000+) and then expressing exasperation that the pastor does not make contact. I would highly recommend attending a smaller church. There are many pastors who would be excited to have some people attend who are eager to work.

Also:

More about “DON’T EMAIL WHEN YOU SHOULD CALL.” The main application for me as a minister is, just because someone emails you doesn’t mean your response should be via email. It might be that the matter they have addressed is much better handled more personally, with a phone call. Or it may simply be that you haven’t had a chance to talk to this person in a while and a call would be nice. Or, it might simply save time to call—since whenever you email you should re-read you email and be careful to not accidentally give offense ;;-) I’ve done this before because a sticky issue is much more kindly and efficiently handled when you don’t have to worry about how something comes across in print.

Another Ken Again

When someone comes into the church expecting to be taken care of they subtly and not so subtly expect the pastor to call, connect, care and comfort.  I think this is the role of the body not the pastor.  These expectations create communication expectations that simply overwhelm pastors.  I had a family leave because I did not return a call in a couple days.  I did call in less than a week but they wanted it to be immediate.

I tell my church that I never really prepare to feed them, since that is their job.  I prepare to lead them, equip them, train them in how to feed themselves and build a self sustaining relationship with Christ.  I had a family leave recently because, even though they got calls from 8 different people, the right person sis not call them. 

Some of the errors are true errors but they come with such unreal expectations that cannot possibly be met that disappointment is bound to happen.  So if you come to my church, know I expect you to feed yourself and if you don’t know how, we will show you.  I expect you to show up on Sunday Morning full so you can serve with a heart that overflows.  I expect you to be your brother’s keeper and I expect you to grow.  This way those who come into the body hurting, in need of care, in need of help and not knowing how to grow will have more examples than just a pastor on a platform who cannot possibly meet all the expectations of the church.  My rant is over.  I got to go make a call.

Leonard and Peter do a better job of making the point I tried to make.  However, I do believe that members of a faith community need to receive love and care from the church, especially during difficult seasons in life.  But our problem is that we think the care-giving needs to come from THE pastor.  Not only does it not need to come from THE pastor, it doesn’t even need to come from a staff member.  IMO, the role of the primary shepherds is simply to see that there are processes and people in place to see that the flock is cared for by someone, preferably someone with shepherding and encouragement gifts. 

Those who think they haven’t been appropriately cared for unless and until a pastor calls them are missing the correct biblical image of the body of Christ. 

And I agree with Peter that pastors shouldn’t know who gives what.  But there is a subtle indication in the question (would they call me if I stopped giving), of a misunderstanding about the gift.  We don’t give our offerings to the church, we give them to the Lord.  Our gifts don’t “buy” us the right to expect anything.  That said, it is reasonable to expect that the ministry of our church is bearing fruit, and stewardship questions are reasonable questions to ask.  However, if we ever ask questions that seem to imply we’re attempting to use our giving as leverage, then we have obviously missed the point – it isn’t our money, it’s God’s.

Wendi

Thank you to all who commented on my thoughts about pastor-attendee relationships.  I assumed I would catch some flack but feel the issue should be raised in a church.  I truly do have a great pastor and staff at church. Your comments are all relevant, but I will not stay awake until I am contacted by the chruch… I feel that protest could be fatal.  But then for saved people, fatal is a blessing..  OH no , now I even used the “saved” word.  I just keep getting in deeper..  Have a great week.

http://www.inwowgold.com/Final-Fantasy-XI-Gil