MondayMorningInsight.com > The Two-Faced Church Leader

HOME | CONTRIBUTE A STORY! | ABOUT MMI | CATEGORIES OF INTEREST | CONTACT ME

The Two-Faced Church Leader

Orginally published on Monday, October 09, 2006 at 8:37 AM
by Todd Rhoades

I've been reading some alarming things the past couple of weeks that impress upon me, once again, the importance of integrity in church leadership. Two examples, one a politician and one a ministry leader, point out the necessity of leading a positive public life and a pure private life.

By now, most all of you have probably heard of the scandal around United States congressman Mark Foley. While publically working to pass new laws against child sexual predators, Foley in his own personal life was carrying on sexually suggestive internet conversations with underage boys. The difference between his public work and his secret private life cost him not only his job, but his personal dignity, and brought scandal to the nation’s capitol.

I was reading a blog recently that was spotlighting the grandson of a nationally respected Bible teacher. The grandson works with his father and grandfather in the ministry. The blog showed pictures of the grandson out partying, along with public comments he’d made on different message boards around the internet talking about his partying, his multiple houses, and references to when he takes over the ‘family business’, the ministry which he names by name in his profanity-laden posts. His secret lifestyle is now costing the ministry in all kinds of areas, from donations to loss of reputation.

Just today, I read of a story of two Florida priests who over the last forty years stolen nearly 9 million dollars from their church. They spent this money on their lavish secret lifestyle… trips to Vegas and the Bahamas, luxury properties, and wining and dining their girlfriends. (Yes, their girlfriends!)

In many lines of work, secret lifestyles can have serious consequences; but in government and ministry work, secret lifestyles most certainly will end your career, split your family, and make you am embarrassment to your church, your constituents, and community.

Why to I bring this subject of two-faced leaders up? Really, only one reason. Because the problem is getting worse and worse; and the number of fallen leaders continues to pile up, and it’s got to stop. Let’s face it, the internet makes it much easier for every one of us to fall morally. Several studies have show that many pastors have at least dabbled in internet pornography; and a growing number are becoming addicted to it.

Maybe your problem isn’t porn. Maybe it’s money. Maybe your skimming some off the top like the two priests did. Maybe it’s a secret physical relationship. Maybe it’s blatent lies that you’re telling people to cover yourself. Maybe it’s a gambling addiction; or alchohol abuse.

Any of these problems are major issues; but being in ministry, they also have the job you hold attached to them. Get caught with a secret lifestyle while you’re in ministry and your goose is cooked. That’s one of the ‘understood rules’ of ministry. “You’ve got one chance. Don’t goof it up.”

I’m writing this specificially to those who are dealing with secret lifestyle issues right now. I plead with you to get some help. Deep internet pornography or other addictions may be more than you can handle on your own. Get some help. Turn this ship around before others find out, and your secret life turns into public scandal for your family. Put aside your pride and get some help, somewhere, before you yourself become the poster child of the next fallen leader.

And for those who can thankfully say that you have no secret lifestyle, be diligent in the work God has called you to do. And be careful, lest you fall for the same temptation that has snatched so many of our great church leaders. The church is no place for two-faced leaders. Be sure to do your part to make sure you lead with honesty and integrity.

Blessings,

Todd

This post has been viewed 2457 times so far.

TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 49 Comments:

Posted by Derek

Monday, October 09, 2006 at 9:24 AM

I have been on a journey both personally, professionally and academically to understand how God shapes the hearts of leaders and how leaders can compartmentalize their public life of service from their private life of service. How can Christian leaders have a spiritual giftedness for ministry, leading, teaching, healing, etc. and yet not allow that same Holy Spirit to transform their inner life? How can a leader be Spirit-empowered and yet not Spirit-transformed?

I have found that leaders (myself included at times) substitute OTHER THINGS for the true, heart-wrenching, difficult, patient process of Spiritual transformation. It is not enough to be gifted, skilled, educated leaders if we are not transformed. We can discover, develop and deploy spiritual gifts for ministry, but that is not enough. We can gain leadership skills, but that is not enough. We can increase in biblical knowledge, but that is not enough. We can increase our work and service, but that is not enough. We can be loving, kind, thoughtful, compassionate people, but that is not enough. We can pray for others, but that is not enough. We can try really, really hard to be spiritual, but that is not enough. None of these things can replace the slow, hard process of the Holy Spirit transforming our hearts to reflect the image of Jesus. It is this process the ultimately brings joy to the heart of God, the Father.
Posted by

Monday, October 09, 2006 at 12:13 PM

Todd - thank you for bringing up this subject. It’s a sad and tragic reality that ministers of all kinds, on all levels hide the ‘real’ self behind the ‘holy’ smile and fleshly service. And that is all it is if we are continually in sin in any area and refuse to repent; it all becomes ... wood, hay and stubble. I agree with Derek - only the Holy Spirit can do the true transforming work but it seems to me that those in spiritual leadership roles embroiling themselves in the lifestyles you list must have no spiritual life whatsoever in order to allow the Holy Spirit to have any affect on their decision making. Having said that I’m sure there are many ‘good’ men who had no intention of allowing themselves to get sucked into something they now find themselves powerless to control. So I add to your plea - get the help you need! If you have to talk anonymously to another ministry like Focus on the Family who have a ministry to those involved with pornography, you should do so. Then pray and pray hard (actually first), infuse yourself with God’s Word and make the decision to stop lying to yourself that you don’t have a problem. I pray for a revival for those in the ministry who cannot see their own sin or think as long as they’re doing what they need to do that it doesn’t matter.
Posted by

Monday, October 09, 2006 at 12:29 PM

As leaders, we have to be prepared to acknowledge our weaknesses and establish some accountabilities. As lay people, we have to acknowledge that our leaders our fallible and open to the same temptations. No one should ever take the “it-won’t-happen-here” mentality. Communication is essential and failure is not fatal.
Posted by

Monday, October 09, 2006 at 6:59 PM

I CONSTANTLY need to be reminded to guard my heart. Thank you.
Posted by

Monday, October 09, 2006 at 9:08 PM

Derek, Jeff, Peter, Ann

All I can say is Amen.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 3:42 AM

Ingrid just posted John 17 that clearly says that ONLY those that the Father gave Him (from the begining of the world) would be saved. This proves that God actually created MOST people to be tormented forever in hell. HE WOULD’NT EVEN SAY A PRAYER FOR THEM !!! If people do not understand this they have been “given a strong delusion” and they will burn in hell with the rest of the people that wanted a “NICE” God. If people (jew or not) don’t recieve true doctrine, shake the dust off your feet as a witness against them. They are at that point...OUR ENEMY. We have to make war with this anti-christ spirit. we are at war and everybody wants to coddle the enemies of God except Jesus and the Apostles !!! We have to be in one accord with the saints in heaven. What are THEY saying ?? REV 6:9-11 tells us that these saints are begging ("crying with a loud voice") for Christ to slaughter ("avenge blood") of their enemys. Did He rebuke them??? NO… HE GAVE THEM WHITE ROBES .
These pastors are trying to save something that God did’nt mean to save… on purpose /
Posted by Todd Rhoades

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 5:18 AM

OK, Dalton… you finally got your post posted, I see (although I think you’re confused as to how to post here… it’s not under the area you originally wanted it to be. Also, for future reference, don’t double post any message under two different topics. That WILL get you banned.

Nice theology lesson. I take it you’re one of the elect? When did you find this out? Who told you? How are you sure that your not one of the the majority of people that God created to be tormented forever in Hell? And, how do you determine that I am?

Just curious.

Todd
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 7:22 AM

Dalton,

If it was as clear as you say it is that God created most people to be tormented forever, then Christians would agree on it like they do other things. (btw, I think this post ended up in the wrong place… twice...) Sometimes, btw, I think we read too much “theology” into the Bible…

However, I bet even Todd would agree that this forum is not the place for this discussion. It’s been discussed before, and will be again, but we’re talking about doing ministry, and often innovative ministry, in 21st century churches here.

Also, I’m curious to know if you think you were pre-destined to believe, or decided to believe--in double-predestination…

(Come on… laugh… that was funny...)
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 7:44 AM

If God created “zillions” to “burn in Hell forever,” why would He sendJesus with the instructions to “...Go ye therefore into all the world making disciples...?” I suggest that you look to your getting into the salvation rather than condemnation business.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 9:35 AM

No one can be positive that they are the Elect.. It’s not like we grow a halo. By the way, I tried to post it on the right forum but it would’nt take it. You blocked it. On top of that this was’nt even the post from yesterday, I gave up after twice writing it.
I guess Peter thinks this is funny but it’s nothing but Calvinisum VS Armenisum. One says that YOU have a part in your salvation (like catholics and most churches in USA), the other says that a sovereign saves us as a gift. There is NOTHING in ouy body or that CAN come to God. He has to give you a gift of belief. WE don’t choose Christ… He chooses US. If God created a world in which people had to come to HIm, that means He GAMBLED that some people would turn to Him with all the goodness that’s in their hearts !!!! I choose to believe that my God is not a gambler !!!
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 9:55 AM

9 times in John 17 Christ says that He will save only those that the Father gave Him. If nothing else the distribution of Gods world proves that GOD only saves a few people. Do we think the Holy Spirit was too old and tired to run the Bible down to someplace like Hati?? Why is He sending even ONE person to hell ?? If God loves everybody how come the Disciples never say it. As a matter of fact, out of all of those sermons in the book of Acts, not once did they Jesus loves you. The word “LOVE” does’nt even exist in the book of Acts. Look in a KJV concordance !!
Cut off Joyce Myers and study a real Bible.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 10:01 AM

Bob… Jesus was talking to only His Elect (the 12 and a couple women when He said “...Go ye therefore into all the world making disciples...” They cant save anybody. He was saying to go find HIS lost sheep. They were already His, he just told the 12 to go find them !!! And by the way… why are YOU not in Hati ???
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 10:48 AM

Dalton, people like you make me tired. Time to get a real ministry.

Thanks Todd. I think what you said needed to be said. And I appreciate it.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 10:59 AM

Thanks man… By the way i just left ministry after years of seeing this fake christ…
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 11:07 AM

It makes you tired because you have to THINK instead of letting Joyce Myers tell you what to believe.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 11:19 AM

Really Dalton? What a petty little insulting mind and point of view you have.

For your information, Joyce Meyers is not my spokeswoman, I do not agree with many many of her positions and insulting me is your way of not having to actually come up with a viable thing to say that makes a lick of sense.

And it’s says it all that you think Christ is fake. That is really really sad.

So, no I retract my statement. PLEASE don’t get a ministry. That’s the last thing you need.

Instead get a life.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 11:44 AM

Both of us can’t be right on this doctrine. We believe two different things, it seems that you have made a christ in your own mind… IF YOU “CAME” TO CHRIST ON YOUR TERMS YOU HAVE A FAKE CHRIST. And you’re right, God does’nt NEED me in a government ordained (1099-501c-3), “touching the unclean (apostate) thing, selling a Disney world jesus. He told me to separate unto Himself. If you “fit “ in this world religious system as godless as they are, then you have a very big problem. You will find out on judgement day that the REAL Christ is JUST… not nice .
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:02 PM

You’re offended??? You’re really going to be offended when most of the people that you have met in your entire life is thrown into a firey pit by the same Christ you supposidly serve with all your heart !!! And if you don’t understand that God had to make evil so that His Elect could understand TRUE love, you will hate the REAL Christ on the last day.
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:06 PM

Dalton,

Some of us think that hyper-calvinism (which you seem to represent) is an inadequate picture of a God who creates beings with free will. Some of us think that arminianism (or “hyper-arminianism” if there is such a thing) is an inadequate picture of a God who knows everything that will happen before it happens. I think there are obvious scriptural indications for questions about both. When we start to put a theological systemization on the level of scripture, we are heading down a scary path, I think. And that’s all I think I want to say on the subject of pre-destination. We’ve veered dangerously off topic…

Also, Dalton, I respectfully implore you to change your tone. We conduct discussions here with respect and kindness (1 Corinthians 13 kindness--niceness if you will...). If you are unable to be respectful and continue in what I think is turning into real rudeness I have no doubt and indeed hope that Todd will cut you off.

Lastly… sorry to shout this everybody… but… THIS BOARD IS NOT INTENDED FOR THESE KINDS OF THEOLOGICAL ARGUMENTS. There are other great places on the net for that…
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:07 PM

Christ’ name, as Peter called Him, was the “ROCK OF OFFENCE”. Look it up /
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:14 PM

Dalton,

I implore you to change your tone. And that’s it, because I am convinced that you are not a person who wants to engage in respectful dialog. I can take scriptures out of context all day to make any point I want. I appeal to scripture AS A WHOLE when I ask you to dial back a bit.

And, yes. I too am offended when you say “And if you don’t understand that God had to make evil so that His Elect could understand TRUE love, you will hate the REAL Christ on the last day”. I am depending on Christ for my salvation… no systematic theology, no scriptural interpretation… In fact, I’m not even depending on the BIBLE for my salvation. I am depending on the finished work of Jesus Christ. Please don’t tell me that I “hate the real Christ"…
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:40 PM

You have free will to to eat a Big mack or a quarter pounder, but you don’t have free will to save yourself /
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 12:48 PM

I don’t care… and if “kind” means you tell people lies all day than you can have it. If you are still alive when the end kicks-off, you will try to kill me just like you want to kill me off this blog!!!
Posted by Todd Rhoades

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 2:06 PM

Hey Dalton,

You need to take a break. This is NOT the place for this discussion; and, quite frankly, you’re in the wrong forum. MMI is dedicated to ‘innovative ministry’ discussion.

Next, you’ve wrongly accused me three times now of deleting your posts. I have not done so. The quickest way to get kicked off the website is the tick off the owner; and to post things that are disrespectful of others. You, my friend, have done both.

Please refrain from posting here at MMI until you can at least be a little more civilized. Unfortunately, from what I’ve seen thus far, I fear that is not possible.

Todd
Website editor/owner
Posted by

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 at 2:35 PM

Truth hurts, thanks todd

Page 1 of 2 pages

1 2 >

Post Your Comments:

Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a Christ-follower, husband, father and I love to connect leaders with other leaders. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step on Twitter.