I need to stop assuming that my words will change anybody and that it is only in God’s timing and Will that He allows those to hear and see what He has them to hear and see.

I get frustrated at times and try to say things in a different way or come up with a metaphore in hopes they will see and hear but most times it just comes across worse than it did before (many of you have been witnesses :-(...)

So, I confess my sins (like my frustrations and presentations) and ask forgiveness and guidance on what to do next.  I pray for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see see in hope that they will grow in the Grace and Knowledge of Jesus, The Christ.

There are others as well but this is most relative to what we’ve talked about here.

I need to “Stop” speaking so much and listen more. Sometimes I waste so much time giving advise that I sometimes forget to do what I’m telling others. It frustrates me especially when all I want to do is make a difference. Instead I spend so much time listening to church trouble and trying to help others out of their situations. I want to stop being negative and see the positive. I want to “Stop” focusing on problems that are not mine to carry and do what I was created for. But it seems that I am very far away from that. How I got here might be related to the waste of time I spent on things that pulled me away from where I should be. I realize I am talking babel but that’s how I feel. Like I am so far away from where God has called me. I know I should be singing and leading music somewhere but let me say that I don’t even think that is in my future. Maybe someone here has been where I’ve been. You’ve been approached by strangers who’ve said,
“God’s gonna use you someday.”

Then there’s those saints in church who said,
“God has a hand on your life son. God’s gonna really use your voice.”

Let me tell ya that I’m way past the point where I hear proverbial phrases and automatically believe them. There has to be a rhyme or reason but for me my focus is way off and I’m lost searching for the answer to a very difficult question. Like

“How do we know exactly what’s God will for our lives?”

This question dumbfounds everyone I ask. Partly because it is a very personal question and also because it is very a abstract concept for those who aren’t sure themselves. That reminds me of another “Stop” moment here. I need to stop trying to make sense of all my experiences. I think I loose ever so slightly a tiny piece of sanity when I try to understand this state that I’m in. By that I mean things simply don’t add up. Oh, well if I can depend on anything it’s that my golf game is getting much better and I’ll be fishing in Canada around this time next month. 

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