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Why Johnny College Isn’t Coming to Church
Orginally published on Monday, July 27, 2009 at 8:38 AM
by Todd Rhoades
Recently, my friend Ed Stetzer gave a presentation at the International Christian Retail Show on some of the research he's doing at LifeWay. He shared the top reasons they've found that young adults are dropping out of church these days. Among the reasons:
1. They simply want a break from church (27%);
2. They felt church members are judgmental and/or hypocritical (26%);
3. They moved to college and didn't find another church (25%);
4. They have work responsibilities that keep them from attending (23%);
5. They moved too far from church (22%);
6. They just got too busy, even though they’d still like to attend (22%);
7. They didn’t feel connected to the church in the first place (20%);
8. They disagreed with the church’s political/social stance (18%);
9. They decided to spend more time with friends (17%);
10. They were just going to church to please their parents (17%).
That is some interesting information. I’d love to see how this meshes with the reasons that older adults leave the church. I think there are similarities, regardless of age.
One of the biggest reasons adults give for dropping out of church is that they feel people in the church are judgmental and hypocritical. Another reason often given is work responsibilities. And then there are those who just want a break, others who have moved and haven’t reconnected with a new church, or are just too busy. And these days, many of us disagree with the church’s political and/or social views.
And just going to church to please your parents? Well that’s still a good excuse, no matter your age. Except maybe it’s your spouse, or another family member you’re aiming to please.
Why do people leave your church? No, really. Why do people leave? Think of the last 5 families that have left your church. Do you even know why they left? And did you or anyone discuss their decision with them after they left?
Young people AND adults leave churches for the silliest reasons. Sometimes a gentle prodding or talk can rescue them from their inactivity in the church. Sometimes not. But too often, we just let them go. We allow their laziness or lousy reasoning to keep them from our or any church, and stand by as they distance themselves from the One who wants, more than anything, to have a day-by-day relationship with them.
Is there someone you should call today to say, “Hey, how are you doing? I’ve been missing you?”
Thanks, and have a great week! You can email me at .
Todd
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Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a Christ-follower, husband, father and I love to connect leaders with other leaders. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step on Twitter.
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Post Your Comments:May be he doesn’t believe on existence of the God.
We must distinguish the difference between backsliding and leaving the faith entirely. I do believe we all have backslide in our faith and relationship with God at some point in our lives. But those who leaves the faith entirely never was truly saved.
On what basis do I make this claim?
A. before a person can be saved they must be convicted of the Holy Spirit.
B. After a person is convicted of sin and repents to God and puts their faith in Jesus, they is saved and given eternal life. That person is also sealed by the Holy Spirit. (Eph. 1:13). The word “seal” means security, a finished transaction. How long is a person sealed? (Eph. 4:30) Until the day of redemption.
C. Jesus even prayed to God the Father, “those whom You gave Me, I kept all of them...” (paraphrasing John 17:11) This is security…
D. There is no such thing as being saved today and lost tomorrow. John 10:28-29 is our proof.
However we could backslide… (fall out of fellowship)… to fall out of fellowship is not to fall out of relationship… there are some family members that we used to always be around… and the time came when residence prohibited that fellowship… that doesn’t mean the person isn’t still your family (relative) member… you’ll just lost contact…
Therefore:
A. Christians can disobey God and sin which breaks fellowship but not relationship. (Rom 8:35-39).
B. Consider the prodigal son… he lost fellowship with his family not relationship… this is proven by the words of the father..."my son has returned...”
so when a person who claimed salvation leaves the faith… their salvation wasn’t genuine. what they had was a false conversion… Luke 9:62 “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looking back is fit for the kingdom of God...”
Rev K:
“However we could backslide… (fall out of fellowship)… “
Here, as you have defined, “backsliding,” your argument makes sense. However, typically the word, “backsliding,” is related more towards going and indulging in a lifestyle of sin. And this is where the conviction of 1 John 3 picks up in identifying whether someone is in the faith or not.
So, if a Christian were to break fellowship with other believers for a time, that is different from someone who goes, leaves the church, and engages willingly in sin. Which, in my experience, is what most people who leave the church for the reasons above do, which then calls into question their salvation. (I speak from personal experience on this one.)
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CS
CS.
even then if a person repents of their sins and comes back to God, He is faithful and just to forgive them of their sins and unrighteousness…
Cs.
Yes there’s a difference in breaking fellowship and leaving the church entirely… I hear many talk of individuals leaving the church/faith entirely and converting to other gods… those individuals wasn’t never converted (truly born again) in the first place…
Can I add this, (I know many are going to riducle me for saying this)? If more pastors and church leaders become more concerned about teaching rather than entertaining, perhaps this would be less of an issue… In this Westernized Christianity… the focus is on evangelism and reaching the lost… and little or no attention is on discipleship… so we have what I call “A back door syndrome” that is… we do find cathing the attention and reaching the lost… they come in the front doors of our churches/congregations… some even stay for a while… but eventually after the amusement… they leave out the back door…
amusement without conscienceness…
CS and Rev K,
I think both sides of your argument might miss an important point. If someone leaves my church, and I spent an inordinate amount of my energy examining why they were never in the faith rather than re-examining the way I’m doing things, I might be missing the opportunity to be a redemptive force in the next guy… and perhaps in that first individual eventually.
Rev. K writes [If more pastors and church leaders become more concerned about teaching rather than entertaining, perhaps this would be less of an issue...] Let me turn that around. If more churches were interested in teaching that was TRANSformational rather than only INformational, then perhaps this would be less of an issue.
But let me suggest to you this… HUNDREDS of people who followed Jesus for a while left Him when his teaching got too hard. If people are leaving, it’s no indication of failure. It wasn’t for Jesus, it’s not for us. Should we try to shut the “back door” people are leaving through? Heavens no! Look at the parable of the seeds and consider that if one “profession of faith” out of four bears fruit, your percentages are right in line with scripture.
THAT said, the most constructive thing I can do is to examine my own methods to make the best use of the gifts God has given me, not necessarily to engage in yet another debate on eternal security, which is what this is about to turn into, I’m afraid…
Peter you stated,
“I think both sides of your argument might miss an important point. If someone leaves my church, and I spent an inordinate amount of my energy examining why they were never in the faith rather than re-examining the way I’m doing things, I might be missing the opportunity to be a redemptive force in the next guy… and perhaps in that first individual eventually.”
you also stated,
“But let me suggest to you this… HUNDREDS of people who followed Jesus for a while left Him when his teaching got too hard. If people are leaving, it’s no indication of failure. It wasn’t for Jesus, it’s not for us.”
now which school do you hold to… you confused me on this one… first you said if they leave then you’re to examine how you’re doing things… then you said, well many left Jesus after His teachings were too hard to swallow… and it’s no indication of failure on you’re part…
So, if it’s no indication on failure on your part… then why spend time on trying to figure out reasons? Everybody has a reason and cast the blame game when they don’t want to adhere to truth…
An ambassodor’s job is to deliver the message of the one who sent them… not to question the contents of the message… our tasks is to preach and let God handle the rest… if we stick to preahing the Gospel we’ll always be on good grounds…
Rev, K,
It is vital to do the best I can with the gifts I’ve been given, so that I can best preach the transformational message of Christ. If people aren’t changed, it’s not my fault if I’ve done that, but the fact that it’s not my fault is not an excuse to ignore my methodology and just carry on as if the way I do this doesn’t matter.
Examining the theologies/motives/reasons of people who leave is less productive than always making sure I’m doing the best job I can preaching it in the language of the hearer.
It’s a little bit like Jesus saying “You’ll always have the poor with you.” That wasn’t an excuse not to help them… on the contrary…
And I never indicated that we should question the contents of the message… read it again… I talked about methodology and delivery…
Peter,
I agree it’s vital to cultivate and stir up the gifts that God has given us… I also believe we preachers are to make an conscience effort to deliver the Gospel in a method that’s pleasing to God (not to the people). When we spend our time and efforts on being people pleasers then we’ll never accomplish the calling…
The key to the whole thing is cultivating the gifts… But you’ll agree that many are looking for formulas instead of staying in tune with God and preaching the Gospel…
I’m not caught up in preaching a transofmational Gospel or prosperity Gospel… I’m interested in preaching the whole Gospel… (and I know you are too)… we must be careful even with methods…
Rev. K writes [But you’ll agree that many are looking for formulas instead of staying in tune with God and preaching the Gospel…] I agree, probably the seed that fell on the not-so-good soil. God throws the seed anyway… and uses us to do it.
and… [we must be careful even with methods…] Couldn’t agree more, which is why I use a translation of the Bible people understand, songs people can relate to, musical styles that fit their lifestyle and not the lifestyle of people in the 1950s, etc…
Even more importantly, “preaching the word” is often inadequate, if we are not DOING stuff, if these people aren’t owning and being part of the church… If we give ownership of the ministry to them, they might care about it, if we don’t… I don’t blame ‘em if they don’t… In many of our churches, we don’t want the young people to “own it”, we just want them to do what we say…
Later,
Peter
Peter… I agree, I agree, I agree…
I’m currenlty in the process of doing a series on briding the broken gap in our ministries… which includes making the youth partakers of the ministry instead of liabilities…
I really believe this is a multilayered issue. The issue in my opinion is that we have done a really poor job of discipling people.
We help people enter into a friendship with Christ through faith, Then we fail to teach them the scriptures, assuming a Sunday will be enough to make it happen.
I ask this in sincerity, how many people are you discipling right now? As Christian leaders, I believe we should be actively helping people build their faith foundation.
By looking at the common ingredients as to why people leave, we will learn something of value. But I believe we should also look at the common ingredients as to why people stay.
Leonard:
“I really believe this is a multilayered issue. The issue in my opinion is that we have done a really poor job of discipling people.
“We help people enter into a friendship with Christ through faith, Then we fail to teach them the scriptures, assuming a Sunday will be enough to make it happen. “
You’re absolutely right. I wish there was more Christ-centered discipling taking place in churches on an ongoing basis. Not, “programs,” or, “classes,” but true ongoing mentoring, education, and molding to be like Christ.
I had lunch with a good Christian friend a couple of weeks ago and he was talking about the lack of discipleship in men’s groups at local churches. He said that most breakfast meetings follow a formula of reading a Bible verse, someone saying that he is struggling in an area of sin, the other men agreeing that they struggle, and then, with consciences placated that they aren’t alone, they move onto talking about sports or business while eating. In retrospect, I saw how much his statement was true of men’s groups with which I have been involved and noticed the lack of discipling as well.
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CS
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CS & Leonard,
we’re on the same page and in the same park… I’ve been saying this for a year with the men ministry at my local congregation. I’ve noticed the men don’t mind coming out meeting and having breakfast… but the time is usally spent planning on how to better fix up the church or what colors we’re going to wear for the upcomming men day program… IMO… it’s a waste of time… fixing up a building or unifying a color doesn’t make disciples…
To borrow a page from Peter Hamm, “we need something to offer the people when God sends them to us...” And it has to be more than a Sunday morning sermon and a Wednesday night Bible Study and prayer meeting… (They are good in their sense but not enough...)
Make disciples is apart of the great commission…
Rev K,
I would actually go so far as to say that “make disciples” IS the Great Commission.
In the original Greek, the verb is “make disciples,” not “GO.”
This is huge for me, and is my biggest heartache in pastoring. My main gift is evangelism, and so it’s very easy for me to share the gospel from the pulpit and in personal one-on-one settings.
However, being bi-vocational with a family, it is extremely hard for me to be able to meet with new converts personally. And our church (at present) is ill-equipped to disciple new believers (many reasons for this, mainly due to the fact that it doesn’t seem to have been stressed at all in the 125 year history of our church).
As CS said, it should be more than programs or classes, but right now I’d settle for either of these if it means helping new believers become established in Christ and helping to develop others who are capable of discipling others.
I came to Christ through the Navigators ministry at my university, and if you know anything about the Navs, they are all about discipling believers. So you might understand why this would be such a big deal for me!
Brian,
The ‘make disciples’ translation is also unfortunate because the ‘make’ isn’t there either...it’s just ‘disciple’.
We approach ‘making’ disciples as though they are the product of a disciple factory. You don’t build a factory just to produce a handful of product. A factory justifies it’s own existence by churning out tons of widgets; the more the better.
The disciple factory (church) can’t spend much energy crying over the defects (leavers, backsliders, disgruntled), except in terms of keeping the defect ratio at an acceptably low level.
This may be a stone-cold way of looking at things, but is it so far removed from the way that many evangelical churches operate in reality?
Billy,
Interesting thoughts.
I’m not sure if you are saying a church should “cry” over the defects or should focus more on the discipling process, though.
Could you expound on that just a bit more?
Thanks!
I think we all agree that Making disciples is the goal. But again the question, how many of us actually sit down and train people with a clear expectation of an intended outcome? Is there a group of people you meet with for the express purpose to disciple them?
If not, then what do you do to make disciples? One reason young people leave is we don’t disciple them.
I am not asking for a critique of men’s ministries or other churches. I am wondering what you do to disciple others. How do you lean into making sure “johnny” does not leave your church?
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