Young Pastors and Stress

Orginally published on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 at 7:59 AM
by Todd Rhoades

Wow… yesterday’s post on young pastors leaving the ministry set a new record for the number of comments on one post.  As of this writing there were over 180 comments posted to this one topic in less than 24 hours.  Something tells me this subject must have connected with a lot of pastors…

And, you know, the responses were interesting... everything from young pastors expressing their heartfelt reasons for leaving the ministry; to others who told the young bucks to suck it up and live the life of a martyr in ministry.  But as I was thinking this morning... if so many young pastors are really struggling, maybe this post on how to handle the stress of the ministry might not be a bad thing to start the day with.  This comes from Pastor Tim Woody... he shares some thoughts and comments that rose out of his staff retreat recently on the subject of stress in the ministry.  Perhaps this can help some young pastors today that are ready to throw in the towel.  It might not help change your circumstances, but it might help you to better deal with them.  (I bet it can be of help to older, seasoned pastors who deal with stress as well!)  Here goes... Tim writes:

A couple of weeks ago, during our annual staff pastor's calendar planning day, we were all gathered around the lunch table, chatting with one another. One of the guys casually brought up the topic of stress. Seizing an opportunity to have a spontaneous and rewarding interaction, I asked him what he was intentionally doing to deal with stress. I then carried it to the next level by asking each staff pastor to describe how he was keeping his life in balance.

The ensuing conversation about stress management was interesting and revealing. Since we have a rather open and honest group of staff pastors, the answers varied from one extreme to the other. Here is a sampling of some of the responses that I recall from that exchange:
- eating right
- walking each day
- nothing
- working out
- really taking a day off each week
- using vacation time and personal days
- hobbies
- prayer
- worship
- spending time with family
- spending time alone

We all candidly revealed the ongoing tension of ministry and family, with their related stress factors. The truth is that we all would go crazy if it we tried to meet every need in the ministry and still attempted to hold our families together. We agreed that the stress of ministry work can be horribly destructive, if we allow it to.

Now, I'm not saying that all stress is bad. In fact, as one staff pastor said, "we need stress to stay alive," and that's very true. For example, a rubber band is of no value unless it is stretched. The stress on the rubber band allows it to fulfill its function, and it works the same with us. If we're not under a fair amount of stress, we become weak, blunt, and ineffective. In fact, if our churches are not under a fair amount of stress, the same occurs.

The problem for most pastors, though, is not too little stress, but too MUCH stress. Naturally there will be peaks a valleys with stress, but if you are constantly exceeding a healthy level of stress, honestly consider the following challenging thoughts:

1. Do you feel that the ministry revolves around you?
If you do, you're hurting yourself, because the ministry must revolve around God.

2. Do you feel that you need to be omni-competent, meeting all of the various needs and expectations of the people?
If so, you are taking the place of God.

3. Are you taking a weekly sabbath? (Not Sunday...that's a day of work!)
If not, you're violating a command of God.

4. Is your family life healthy and do your family members feel secure?
If not, you're probably giving too much to the ministry and too little to your family.

5. Are you really eating a balanced diet and are you exercising 3-4 times a week?
If not, think about correcting it before you preach another message on how your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

How can I speak so strongly on these five issues? It's because I've made excuses for myself and have broken all five of these...sometimes for several years at a time. AND I paid for it dearly.

I want to be here to see my grandchildren and even my great-grandchildren. I want to retire and live near a Texas beach someday. I don't want to face an early grave due to my inability to manage myself and then spiritualize it be calling it martyrdom.

Fundamentally, I believe that I can make a greater difference for God by living life to its fullest (John 10:10), than by living under excessive stress.

FOR DISCUSSION:  Any thoughts?  How do you deal with stress?  For those of you who have left the ministry; was it the stress that finally made you make the call to leave the ministry?  Let's hear what you think...

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Hi... I'm Todd Rhoades. I'm a Christ-follower, husband, father and I love to connect leaders with other leaders. Hopefully you'll find something here at MMI you like and will return often. If you want, you can find out more about me or follow my every step on Twitter.

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