I Don’t Like My Church Anymore
- Posted by: Todd
- Posted on: Mon, September 27, 2004
- Viewed 281
- (54) comments so far
It hasn?t always been this way. I used to love going to church. I would look forward to it every week. I loved the worship time, ate up the preaching and enjoyed the fellowship with the people around me. However, all this has begun to change for me lately. I?ve come to the point where I don?t want to be bothered with talking to people. It?s not that they?re not good people, it?s just that I really don?t want to talk to them. I find that I?m not as interested in the worship and preaching as I used to be. In fact, I usually find every possible way to criticize the songs we sing or the delivery of the message (that?s the effect Bible college can have on some people).
You see, the problem with all this is that I?m in ministry myself. It?s actually my job to be at the service on Sunday morning. Maybe that?s part of the problem. Maybe I?m bitter that I have to go into ?work? while other people can go and enjoy the service because they have no obligation.
There?s a larger problem involved, however, and I don?t believe it?s a problem that is uncommon to people (particularly twentysomethings, of which I am one) in the church today. You see, I walk in to the church service, sit down, cross my arms and expect God to do something in me. I expect the worship team to bring me out of my apathy. I wait for something the pastor says to catch my ear. What?s the problem with all this? It?s me. Nothing has changed in my church since the time when I enjoyed coming. I?ve changed. I?ve become more selfish. I?ve become more cynical. In fact, it?s gotten to the point where my girlfriend told me yesterday that maybe she should sit somewhere else during the service because she can sense that I don?t want to be there.
More than all this, I?ve come to expect the church to forge my spiritual development. Instead of working on my own prayer and devotional life, I want the church to do it for me. Please tell me I?m not the only one in the Body of Christ who has this problem. Please tell me there are other lazy people, who come to church on Sunday and expect to be filled up for the week ahead. Meanwhile, they have no expectation of giving anything. (I?m not talking about money either.) We aren?t willing to give of ourselves in worship. We aren?t willing to give of ourselves to each other, to minister to our friends who have hurts too (we?re not the only ones who hurt, even though we?d like to think so sometimes).
I?d like to blame all this on our American culture of selfishness. I?d like to say that I am this way because I?ve been socially conditioned by all the advertising and marketing that I?m encountered with day after day; advertising that says things like ?Have it Your Way.? Well, I do want it my way. Don?t we all? Isn?t it true that if we don?t like how things are done at one church we can just go across town (or across the street, for some of us) and find a church that suits our felt needs better? Is that what Jesus intended for His church? Did He want us to forsake our churches just to seek ?greener pastures? somewhere else? It?s true that the Church is flawed. No church is exempt from this. But instead of giving up (or becoming total cynics of every last detail) we should be working to change that which is wrong in our churches, but more than that?to change that which is wrong in ourselves. And changing what is wrong in us is probably the harder of the two. Selfishness doesn?t go away easily (trust me, I?ve still got plenty of it). How else can we work to change from selfish people to gracious and generous people other than asking for the help of the Holy Spirit? There is no other way that I know of (and I?m sure I?ve tried many) to deal with sin of every kind.
In the end, I can only blame my own sinful nature that allows me to become like I am. It?s my fault, not my church?s, that I think and act this way. Until I, and those like me, are willing to own up to this, we will continue to be unfulfilled Christians who take up space in the pews on Sunday mornings, but have nothing to contribute to the radical mission that the church is called to.
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What are your thoughts? Have you had these same feelings? Did you come to the same conclusion as Doug or something totally different? Please leave your comments by clicking the comments link below.
Oh, and by the way... you can see this whole article at the RelevantMagazine.com website now as well!
Todd
When the alarm goes off on Sunday morning, what is your attitude? A sense of excitement or a sense of foreboding? I came across a very honest, interesting and thought provoking article by Doug Tappan this week at RelevantMagazine.com. Please take a couple minutes this morning to read this… I think it will hit a nerve and challenge you as you start your week. Doug writes…
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Comments
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Bruce on Mon, September 27, 2004
I understood Bernie and even agree once “born again” a “maturing” process must follow. HOWEVER, being “BORN AGAIN” is God’s single greatest miracle to all mankind and should NEVER ever be de-emphasized nor referenced as heresay. I hope we all can agree on that point. Love to all.
Angie on Mon, September 27, 2004
QUOTE:We have created what is, in essence, a “welfare mentality” in the church where people have been taught that they NEED such people to lead them in their walk in Christ.
This is so true! I get so TIRED of hearing people say “I can’t take Nursery or teach Jr. Church or be a greeter or be an usher or anything at all because I need to be in the service and be fed.” You know, some of these people have been Christians for 30+ years and they still want to be spoon fed! Puhleeze! Feast on God’s Word daily and let it give you the sustenance and energy to get to work!!! The Bible says that if a man doesn’t work, he shouldn’t eat…It says, “Freely you have received, freely give.”
ALSO~ I, like many others, have noticed how so many people are tired of church. They are tired of the bickering and gossiping and fake tears and all-about-money attitudes. They are tired of the same-ol-same-ol and the Welcome-Stand-Pray-Sing-Sit-Announcements-Stand-Sing-Requests-Pray-Offering-Sit-Choir Special-Amen-Stand-Sing-Sit-Message-Cry-Pray-Benediction pattern week after redundant week.
The problem is (as much as I hate to admit it) that we want to be entertained, stroked, and built up. We want to sing what we want to sing, hear what we want to hear, have the preacher pat us on the back instead of stepping on our toes, be recognized for our meager giving, and take in a fresh breathe of air as we loosen our stuffy ties and walk out the chapel doors.
This article was a real eye-opener for me. I know that my church has a lot of problems, but that’s because it’s full of people. You can meet with people in any kind of building- warehouse, church, home, restaurant- and the same thing will ALWAYS eventually happen—familiarity breeds contempt. Once we get to know each other, we find out all the flaws we could’ve lived without knowing. We disagree. Vehemently. We judge. We get cynical and critical.
You might think I’m being rude or unreasonable, but I speak so boldly because I know I’m right—Been there, done that, still wearing (but ready to shed) the t-shirt :o(
God help us who call ourselves by his precious Son’s Name to walk worthy of our vocations…
Paul on Mon, September 27, 2004
Great article. Spiritual laziness is one of the most devistating problems in churches today. It comes from a lack of identity (not knowing that we are sons and daughters of the most high God and we have a mandate and mission and a destiny to fulfill). When the church begins to make the commands of God optional then we’re in trouble. Praise is a command - “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord”.
Christianity is not a feeling lifestyle it’s a faith lifestyle. If the devil can steal your passion he can render you ineffective for the Kingdom. Passion is the thing that makes you effective. When you lose your passion your done. When you want His presents more than you want His presence you have begun to backslide and you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Great article - a message for the church.
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
Quote: “There’s also too much emphasis on “getting people born again” and then stopping there. We need to work on maturing Christians.”
But, alas, even the command of Jesus to “make disciples” has been hijacked to mean “clone the pastor” through “discipleship programs” that have more to do with how to become a paying member of the organization than a true-blue follower of Christ.
Maturity and discipleship comes through relationship not classes. Classes reach the head but relationships centered around Jesus reaches hearts.
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
Quote: “Please encourage all church leaders to yeild all activities and services held in God’s “house of prayer” be totally lead by the Holy Spirit and place Jesus Christ as head of their ministry.”
Bruce, I’ve got news for you, brother.
God’s “house of prayer” has ZERO to do with a building, organization or ministry but has everything to do with the work of His Spirit in US.
This erroneous understanding that God dwells in buildings was done away with in the Old Testament but is still held onto by those want to keep God in a box.
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
Quote: “I think that ‘worship’ technically means that we are to come to offer something to God- never to receive.”
It is my opinion that “worship” has little or nothing to do with music but rather how we live our lives, as unto HIM and Him alone. This is what Romans 12:1-2 means as being “our spiritual service of worship.”
When we live in accordance to His Word and for His glory, we are truly dying to self.
To deny that there is need for leadership or any other spiritual gift for the sake of authenticity really denies the body of Christ, because the gifts are given for the body…
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
Quote: “To deny that there is need for leadership or any other spiritual gift for the sake of authenticity really denies the body of Christ, because the gifts are given for the body…”
When God’s people get together in His name, leadership IS present in the form of Jesus Christ working through the Holy Spirit.
“Spiritual authority,” an all-too abused word today, has nothing to do with position (i.e., pastor) but is built completely upon adherence to the truth of God’s Word, in love.
So when God’s people come together to encourage each other with God’s word and submitting one to another, the Headship of Christ is being truly represented and, thus has no need for a pastor.
Robert Haskell on Mon, September 27, 2004
Hey, Doug, stop whining. You have been given the privilege of embracing people for Christ all week as well as on Sunday. Actually, you should probably quit until you are desparate for the chance to once again serve Christ and His people in a full-time capacity.
Do it, Doug…resign your position. And, don’t come back until you are desparate. (Psalm 42:4) Got a wife and kids? Dosen’t matter, God will take care of you as you seek Him.
Sincerely: no group hug
Chris Parrish on Mon, September 27, 2004
“I don’t like my church anymore” represents an honest assessment of the writer’s spiritual condition, but more significantly, the spiritual condition of many churches in America. We have forgotten the two greatest commandments: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind” (Matt.22:37)and:“Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39). The Church has become self-absorbed with programs and activities to keep busy people even busier, and to raise money to keep the organization going. In the midst of this, the love of people for one another has “grown cold”. I am not in full time ministry now, as an ordained minister, but I was for 11 years, in South Africa. The cure for this condition mentioned above is plenty of prayer, silence, devotional Bible reading, and REST as well as actively loving people in need. If pastors visited people in need and cared for them, and set an example to their people, they would find the love of Christ overwhelming their souls.
Return to the fundamentals!
Ricky Roubique on Mon, September 27, 2004
Quote: “Hey, Doug, stop whining. You have been given the privilege of embracing people for Christ all week as well as on Sunday. Actually, you should probably quit until you are desparate for the chance to once again serve Christ and His people in a full-time capacity.”
Why does any of us need to be in a cushy, paid position in order to “embrace people for Christ?”
One of the most serious misconceptions about so-called “full-time ministry” is the practice of validating a person’s ministry by a paycheck that has the name of a religious organization on it.
In addition, erroneous teaching regarding what is and who are in “full-time ministry” has robbed the Body of Christ of its calling to win the world through the thriving priesthood of the believer. A friend of mine told me once that ALL legitimate work is holy to the Lord and serves as the believer’s place of ministry, thus making him/her “full-time” ministers.
Maybe Doug should leave his position but he shouldn’t do it to “become desperate.” Instead, he should leave “ministry” in order to enter THE ministry.
Stephen Freed on Tue, September 28, 2004
A few weeks ago I was asked to “preach” at my church. We are a downtown church. What I really wanted to do was get the worship and music team to set up in the street in front of the church and throw a worship block party for thirty minutes or so - you know - block off the street, free food, etc. And then as the sermon, talk for four minutes ont “the earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it” - and go block by block cleaning trash and praying for the city. I got excited about church, Todd. Well, I didn’t throw the party or ask people to walk the sermon. I preached a boring message. And didn’t get excited about going to church. Maybe there was a sermon there for me??
Ashlynn on Tue, September 28, 2004
My husband and I are both in the ministry. First I have to address this, alot of comments were made about it is a privalige. Yes it is an awesome privalige to be called by God. It is also alot a big load to carry. Don’t forget we are not as Jesus, even though we strive to be as Him. We are not Him, only flesh and bone. Ordinary people just as someone that hasn’t been called to preach. We all minister in our own way, so we all in a sense have been called. Second, We are human and have needs ourselves. We are not robots here at the church to meet everyone’s needs. We have families, which lots of that time to spend with them we sacfrice willing for the Lord. So please don’t say people that are called into ministry are whinning. Sometimes we just need to let it out. You forget you have someone in flesh to talk with, one of us ( the pastor, his wife, etc ). We have have an obligation of privacy, not to tell, keeping everything to ourselves. It is a very demanding job that we love, but if you haven’t been in the shoes, how can you even start to comprehend what we go through on a day to day base emotionally. Only by the grace of God are we able to make it and withstand in Jesus name. Let me tell you be thankful and pray everyday for your pastor, his family, and those in ministry. Things that are told to a pastor and others in ministry can be overwhelming. Third, Pray, love, and don’t condem those called into ministry. It is scriptual, look it up. God will take care of the shepards and we are not to say anything negative about them. God will deal with them.
Now, my comment on the article.
My husband was a senior pastor and just recently took an associate position. This church is our denomination, but the pastor is allowing things to happen in the church that are not of God and preaching things that are not scriptual. I am worried about my children. They are becoming confused, with the values we have instilled in them and they are contridicted by new ones. So that is why I don’t want to go to church. Otherwise I love going to church. I will say there have been times when the problems over come like a wave and you just want to stay in bed, that is the flesh, but it is our call so we do as Paul tells us to crucify the flesh daily, get up, strap on our boots and go on. With the power of the Holy Spirit to guide us, that is how we make it.
It is still a very hard path, to be called and pray for those that have that calling.
God bless.
Don on Tue, September 28, 2004
Howard Hendricks used to say, “It’s not what YOU get out of your Bible study that matters. It’s what GOD gets out of it.”
Worship is much the same.
Some of us are more extroverted and relational…and attending church tends to feed that need. But that has little to do with true worship.
I fear, as Jordon Cooper posted on his own blogsite, that we have succumbed to producing 52 weeks of “special events” to draw in the faithful. The American church runs the risk of becoming a caricature of what God originally intended. May we rediscover what He wants for us on our face before Him.
Michael Clarke on Tue, September 28, 2004
“Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. Prophesy and say to ‘those shepherds’, ‘Thus says the Lord God, ‘Woe, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flock? “You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool, slaughter the fat sheep without feeding the flock. “Those who are sickly you have not strengthened, the diseased you have not healed, the broken you have not bound up, nor have you sought for the lost; but with force and severity you have dominated them…behold, I am against the shepherds, and I shall demand My sheep from them and make them cease from feeding sheep. So the shepherds will not feed themselves anymore, but I shall deliver My flock from their mouth, that they may not be food for them.” Ezekiel 34:1-10
“I, THEREFORE, the prisoner of the Lord, entreat you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility, and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love…and He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets and some as evangelists and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ” Ephesians 4:1-12
“Remind them of these things, and solemnly charge them in the presence of God not to wrangle about words, which is useless, and leads to ruin of the hearers. Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, handling accurately the word of truth. But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness, and their talk will spread lik gangrene.” II Timothy 2:14-16
Alveda King on Tue, September 28, 2004
This was a real eye-opener. The real test is can we look inward and admit what is clearly pointed out here? We are the church, the Body of Christ. Especially touching is the point about being gracious and generous. If we are missing it, something is missing in us. Oh Lord, please restore to us the joy of our salvation, and let us find joy in each other. Amen.
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