Sucker! and being abused.  It is very unfair for them to ask you not to consider other offers just on a promise.  Tell them to put their money where their mouth is.

Sucker?  No. 

Jesus told a story of people who agreed to work for a certain wage and then complained later.  Don’t get mad at me yet. 

I would say you’re not a sucker.  I would say like others though that it’s time to cut ties.  A ‘sucker’ to me is someone who gets ripped off.  I can’t say that you’ve been ripped off.  1.  You’ve agreed to work somewhere for free.  2.  You’re not finished your degree (not that it matters to me but maybe to them and yourself) and 3. You have gotten 5 years of experience and probably good recommendations.  This WILL carry over with you. 

Now, let me say this.  I also believe everyone must be up front.  We don’t like it but I believe the church should be honest about what the position pays and you should be honest about what you can accept. 

So to me, you’re not a sucker.  But you’re also not a victim.  Simply decide if you wish to leave and then go.  Apparently there are other things keeping you at this place b/c it’s obviously not an easy decision for you.  Factor it all up and make your move.  There should be no hard feelings on either side.  If you want to leave, leave.  If you want to stay, stay.

Unfortunately, I believe the “sucker” applies to this situation.  I have learned the hard way in this same scenario.  I served a church for 16 years!, that I loved.  I grew up there, met my husband there, & started to raise my children at this church.  I truly loved the people & served with every effort & bit of time I had.  At one point my husband was brought on as part-time staff, however the job was a full-over-time position.  We were promised more pay as soon as the church could “afford” it.  I worked personally a 40+ hour week without any pay whatsoever, in addition to my husbands 20+ hours a week which he was paid a small amount for.  I thought we were fully supported by the church until one day.  Someone got very angry with me and made false accusations about my husband and myself.  We were never supported by the church at all. I now know looking back, we never truly had the love & support after all.  I hope you will see the truth, the honest truth before it is revealed to you in an unfortunate circumstance. The word says “a man is worthy of his wages”!  You have to live in this world which requires the use of income, if you have a family you are required to take care of them, as well as pay the debtors you owe.  God sees your heart & wants to honor you.  Seek him first, he will lead you to the place in which he has already prepared for you, which includes compensation for furthering His kingdom.

P.S.We are now working 3 jobs to pay off the debt accrued during our years of working in that ministry at that church.  One of those jobs, I am proud to say, is actually paying me very fairly for furthering God’s kingdom!  He did it for me, I know he will do it for you.
Be blessed, & seek Him!
M

Todd, First, dont look at yourself as a “sucker” but at the experience and lives that you have changed and influence for the cause of Christ. Secondly, do look at other opportunities for ministry.  Since you have had negative thoughts as an unpaid staff; they may transfer over when you are on paid staff; thus a new and fresh start for both parties would be best.

I’ve been in that situation. I worked for my current church for “Free” for almost two years. But let’s define “Free” in a healthy church setting.

1) God had blessed me with support from people who did not attend the church paying for 1/3 of what a normal “Salary” would have been. That was a process God led me to work with friends who agreed with my calling.

2) The church paid me a “stipend” but without staff benefits, etc. About $200 a month. With a two year commitment to hire me or do away with the position. Over time God blessed that relationship and along the way the financial commitment increased gradually to the point that the church replaced all of my “raised” support.

3) They encouraged me to follow God’s leading at all times and not to feel oblicated to them. It is after all the Kingdom we want to see advacne not just a particular congregation.

4) I was led by God to be at this church; and did struggle financially, to make ends meet until hired full-time with benefits.

Personally I would question any “leading” from God that would have you go into debt without a clear and committed plan for how you were going to get out of debt fast!

But, this is just one man’s experience and one man’s opinion. Seek God and trust Him to guide you. He will provide.

I don’t think you can determine if you are a sucker by what you are getting compensated.  If God has led you to that ministry in a supportive role then compensation (or a promise of) shouldn’t be the reason for staying or leaving.  If compensation is the only thing being considered then you’re simply a hireling. On the other hand if God has led you to that ministry for support, then that should be the only litmus test for staying or leaving. 

You’re never a sucker if you are obeying the leading of God’s spirit. If God’s spirit is leading you to look elsewhere then do so but don’t hang the whole question of staying or leaving on whether or not you get paid or someone’s unfulfilled promises. That is really irrelevant. God will be faithful to tell you when it is time to leave.

In my experience, I served for close to 10 years in a church without much pay but I did it because I knew God wanted me there. Surely there were times when I felt I should have been better compensated but that was not my motive for being there. I just wanted to be obedient. During that time I learned some valuable lessons about making God my source instead of an individual or a particular ministry.

What is God leading you to do in your heart when all the resentment for unfulfilled promises is taken away? It very well could be that God is leading you to leave but don’t let it be for the wrong reasons.

If you are married, GET OUT of that situation for your spouses’ sake!!  If not, then it is your own personal choice to allow yourself to continually be run over and you are harming no one but yourself.  However, I have found that the church will talk about you without respect behind closed doors, saying “why pay him/her if they are already doing it for free?” Then they will sing your praises to keep you doing it. 

Think about it.  If there promises were sincere they could have compensated you with something small to begin with as a show of good faith of what was to come.  It could have been something as small as paying for a college book, a few dollars that could cover gas, or a freewill offering from the congregation, but you already knew that.  So, here is what you and I have learned the hard way...never enter a ministry position without a written job offer agreement again, because without one too many churches at some point will abuse their staff. 

I know that you are not in ministry to make money and I can say the following with confidence.  I believe you have NO HOPE to change the present situation, but if you accept the offers from other churches exactly FOUR GLORIOUS BLESSINGS will come of it…

1. A huge burden will be lifted from
your family!

2. The joy of ministry will be
restored!

3. The new church will respect you more and you will have a monetary $$ value to them!

4. Your present church will most likely pay the person who replaces you more than what they were promising you.  Hey, at least the new person will get something.

GET OUT! Get out now!  If you have a family, get out yesterday! Don’t look back!  None of these blessings come until you have moved on!!

While I am being paid and the church is so good to me, I understand your frustration.  But I have come to realize that money can’t be your only and final consideration.  While it seems unfair and even unbiblical (1 Cor. 9), what is the Spirit of God telling you?  Is He convincing you to stick to it because it is His Will you do?  Because if you leave or stay and God has better plans for you, you’ll miss what God is doing.  So be in prayer.  Be in the Spirit.  Be in the Word.  The question is not are they wrong and you right.  The question is, what does God want for me.  Then the decision is no longer up to you and if it comes down to a confrontation with them, you can say, the Lord is leading me elsewhere.  Now this is something that I am going through and I believe most “ministry professionals” can feel with you about.

God give you wisdom.

No you are not a sucker...you obviously love the minister to continue your ministry (for free) while going to school on your own expense.  The question you have to ask yourself...is it God’s will for me to move on in my ministry.  I feel that is what you are asking yourself now.  Only you can answer that question, no one else can. It will take alot of prayer and reflection on what His will is for you.
If this is where you are supposed to be then God will supply your needs.
If it is not then he will provide you a place of ministry.

The only other advice I can give you comes from Jesus Christ…
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. Be as wary as snakes and harmless as doves.” Matt 10:16

I am sharing as a sister in the body of Christ and as one who has been in the church and parachurch organizations for 30+ years.

An agreement to fulfill a role within a church is like any other employment negotiation.  However, as Christians, we weigh our pros and cons against what we believe God is speaking to us.  Hence, the when pros and God’s word for us may be different, we act on God’s word instead of the pros.  What is God saying to you?

We are advised in Proverbs to work with our hands in order to make a living so that our lifestyle testimony is fitting of that of a Christian.  Therefore, I would say that if your living expenses/savings are not being met or fully met, it is advisable to move on from a church that cannot pay you for your ongoing services.  However, if your living needs are met, then it is a matter between you and Lord to decide if you want to/should continue to give this extent of your time to this church.

Utlimately, a church who has made a promise to you (esp. over 5 yrs.) but who can provide no indication of when they can fulfill their promise may express their desire to keep you, but little more than that.

My own discernment says that its time to move on, but I what matters is taking this issue to the Lord in prayer (Proverbs 3:5-6) and gaining a peace about your decision for yourself.

I trust that these thoughts are helpful to you.

If you are married, GET OUT of that situation for your spouses’ sake!!  If not, then it is your own personal choice to allow yourself to continually be run over and you are harming no one but yourself.  However, I have found that the church will talk about you without respect behind closed doors, saying “why pay him/her if they are already doing it for free?” Then they will sing your praises to keep you doing it. 

Think about it.  Do they care about your intrests?  If there promises were sincere they could have easily compensated you with something small to begin with as a show of good faith of what was to come.  It could have been something as small as paying for a college book, a few dollars that could cover gas, or a freewill offering from the congregation, but you already knew that.  So, here is what you and I have learned the hard way...never enter a ministry position without a written job offer agreement again, because without one too many churches at some point will abuse their staff. 

I know that you are not in ministry to make money and I can say the following with confidence.  I believe you have NO HOPE to change the present situation, but if you accept the offers from other churches exactly FOUR GLORIOUS BLESSINGS will come of it…

1. A huge burden will be lifted from
your family

2. The joy of ministry will be
restored!

3. The next ministry experience can
only get better from!

4. The new church will respect you
more and you will have a monetary
$$ value to them!

5. Your present church will most
likely pay the person who replaces
you more than what they were
promising you.  Hey, at least the
new person will get something.

GET OUT! Get out now!  If you have a family, get out yesterday! Don’t ever look back!  DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT ACCEPTING ANY OFFER THE PRESENT MAY MAKE AT THE LAST MINUTE!! 

I want God to bless you like he has blessed my wife and I.  None of these blessings come until you have moved on!!

I believe you are being taking for granted. Not so much a “sucker” because God is ultimately blessing you for your work. But it is time to move on to something else and someone who “hire” you for the job.

I guess my main concern is for you not be bitter with the church about it. When you decide to leave make sure your end of the ministry is faultless. Then when you discuss your departure, just be open and sincere. People will talk regardless but it won’t last because if you done your best, they won’t have much to say. They may or may not found out how much of an impact your work was.

It happened to me doing it “part-time”. I recall the new music minister (careered in the field) worked “full time” and does much less than what I did and still complains with what he’s doing.

I found out now, when I visit the church the people have a whole different “respect” for me. But ultimately, God will reward you greatly.

My last words.. You’ve now somewhat established yourself.. MOVE ON HIGHER.

“God speed”