I think it’s ALWAYS a big struggle for a pastor to be supported in his community, even in very healthy work environments. It is SO hard to be candid, open, and honest with people who you serve, especially if it involves a transparency and authenticity that makes you vulnerable. Let’s face it, not everyone uses discretion. So people in the pastorate have some very legitimate fears that whatever they say in a private conversation will be blown out of proportion and used to start some crazy rumors. Next thing you know it, you’re being blamed for everything from the departure of a staff member to the Great Schism!

And in the best situations, there is always a political element… people in and out of leadership jockeying for position. If your church has “none of this” it’s probably because it’s hidden well, not because it’s not there.

He prays, we pray, he loves, we love, He walks with God, We walk with God, He trust God, We trust God, He makes his life avaiable for God, we make ours avaiable to God. He confronts problems head on, the church does the same. But believe me when I say, We are not a perfect church, but there is 100% love, mercy, tenderness, kindness, longsuffering, and grace.
We are a church were we can confess our mistakes and sins to one another. Instead of making them feeing like an outcast, we embrace them, love them, and pray for them.
Believe me when I say this. We have even had business meetings at our church and they are as different from day and night from other churches I have been at. There was PEACE at a business meeting. Above all I would say this is the indgredents to our happy and healthy church is Love for God Love for one another.

Jade, I want you to know that my heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean about being a youth minister and having to deal with parents. That job is not a win/win situation.
There were days when you packed a bible in one hand and a 9MM in the other. Just kidding about that statement. But they make you feel like an idoit or that your inferior to them. I resigned a year ago and I haven’t been hired back since becasue of the pastor and these parents.
But here of late I have felt prompting me to leave my job becasue I just don’t have fulfillment there. I don’t know what, where, when or how. But I am enjoying our walk together now.

One of my closest friends left the ministry because he couldn’t afford to take care of his family and is now in business, able to take care of his family, but now feels called to still have a teaching ministry within the church.

I have a friend who was sent out with about 70 people as the associate pastor of an independent Baptist.  He loves the Lord and it showed, saw the church grow to 300 in 7 years.  The senior pastor hired a “progressive” pastor to join the team, the vision changed to cater to the World and the associate pastor didn’t share the vision.  So they fired him, he looked for six months and couldn’t find a job, so he had to go back to engineering.

Kent and Aaron make a good point about mission / vision / methodology mismatch being a reason for people leaving vocational ministry. As Aaron points out in his case, it was better for him and for the church for him to leave when the difference in goals became apparent.  God honored the decision by providing a more appropriate place for him to serve.

I think some people leave the ministry because they try to stay too long as a square peg in a round hole (and make the hole become square).  This is not only exhausting, but damaging to the unity of the church.  Vocational ministry is intense, and sustainability is much more likely when one serves on a team where there is complete alignment with and commitment to mission AND method among the team members.  When there is not, we’d be better to cut our losses and find a place to serve where we fit - I know this from experience.

Wendi

It’s me again… I left something out of my last post.

Numeber one reason Pastor’s leave.
1) To many goat’s. Always Butting everybody.

Number one reason Pastor’s stay.
1)The right amount of sheep out number the goats.

This here is country boy lingo. In layman terms the first one has support the other doesn’t.

Jade,

Before I was in pastoral ministry full-time I always wondered what people who said what you are saying meant, because my job was very very demanding, and sometimes had EXCESSIVELY long hours, PLUS I had the whole “part-time” ministry thing… Now… I understand.

Jade wrote [So when I say I would get more time with my family in a secular job, I know for a fact I would, because if I quit ministry I would do some of the things I use to do.]

Amen, you are absolutely right. I used to serve in a volunteer position on a church staff, in addition to a very demanding full-time job. Technically, when I went to ministry full-time and left the full-time job, it should have been easier, right?

Wrong. Didn’t work out that way.

Jade, you are so right in your statement! Although, like me, I guess you are not complaining! There’s no place in the world I’d rather be than this desk, this office, this church.

Jade wrote:
“When i said I could spend more time with the family I know I could that was point. You said I could not, when I knew that was a false statement.”

I don’t know what you are talking about.  I never said you couldn’t spend more time with your family. Please quote my so-called false statement that was referring to you.  I think you need to read more carefully.

Peter Hamm said:
“Technically, when I went to ministry full-time and left the full-time job, it should have been easier, right? Wrong. Didn’t work out that way.”

Are you able to explain why?  I’d like to know!

Bernie Here you go.
“Just keep in mind that Pastors aren’t the only ones with tough jobs. Sometimes these articles come across this way. There are all kinds of occupations where people are away from their families (much more than they want to be), they burn-out, and they stay in the job with no joy. What’s the expectation,,, that Pastoring a church should be easy and kick-back?” Agree with there are occupations tougher etc. However you need to keep in mind that the ministry at times can be tough on the family. I guess I thought you were commenting to something I said before you.  (As if the world revolves around me ha ha ugh)
Also I suppose it is the way you say stuff.  I hear you saying Suck it up to the hurting pastors.  (Not literally but through your words) Maybe I am taking you wrong, if so I am sorry.  I am certainly am not above being wrong.
Allow people on this post to complain, it is ok.  This was posted for pastors, we want to share and talk things out. 
One more thing there are certain things you don’t understand until you experience them.  Sorry until you are full-time your idea of what it is to be a full-time pastor is naive.  Thus why I laughed at your A in your class comment.  That is not your fault I just think maybe you should remember that before you type.  I promise I will make sure I understand completely what you are saying before I comment to you.  Read too fast, assumed too much.  Sorry man.  Oh well made for good dialogue.  Also I am did not mean to discredit you, sorry if it came across that way.

Thanks Wendi and Jade!

I’m not the best person to articulate the differences, Bernie, (not that!) but there is the issue of the “higher stakes” of the actual day to day job. Not that eternities aren’t on the line when you’re dealing with people in the work-world. They are! And in fact, you have a much better chance of making an eternal difference in the work-world than you do in the pastoral ministry, on a day-to-day basis, in many ways.

But the expectations fall on you when you’re not working, on your families, on everything you do. Spouses can probably speak to this the best. I think that the whole discussion we had about the Osteens on that other post is a great example of that.

And I gotta say that the spiritual side of it is much more intense. When somebody walks into your office on a Tuesday, you’re not sure whether they just want to chat or are thinking about ending their marriage… or their life…

I nevert had that in the business world…

Bernie like being a Pastor. 
“If I were to do it full-time and get paid for it, my life would be MUCH easier.” Again naive, spoken like a true seminary student still in seminary.  A better statement would be, “My life would be more fulfilling because then I could do what God called me to.” Easier no, more rewarding yes.  By the way I have visited your online ministry, and there is difference between what I am talking about and what you are currently doing.  Do you feel called to be a Pastor?  Or just do online ministry?  Very different things.  (By the way keep up the good work in your ministry.)

This really is a potentially valuable topic for all of our growth as concerns the calling of God as one set in the Church as a Pastor, and walking it out in the context of modern day Christianity, that has by default (for the sake of institutional survival)drastically altered (from the Biblical intent)the “job” description and therefore expectations associated with that ministry.

Before commenting on why most Pastors that do so, leave the ministry, it seems to me we ought to recognize that our modern dilemma is one in which there is an actual majority of people who have found themselves trying to function in the titled position of a Pastor, who were never truly called and set by the Lord into the office of that particular ministry.

In most cases that is not their fault. There is probably a genuine call on their life and a specific ministry God has intended for them. But we have so distorted what being a Pastor is really all about that we have filled our pulpits with Evangelists, Teachers, Administrators etc. and forced them into trying to Pastor without the call, gifting or anointing in their life to do so.  The sad result is that, in so doing, the Body of Christ loses the intended impact and power of all of those ministry gifts accomplishing the equipping of the saints for the work of the ministry.

So, I’m just saying that quite often it is not truly a Pastor leaving the ministry when the stresses that be overwhelm them, but rather, a frustrated, misplaced and unfulfilled Evangelist or other Minister.

However, I certainly acknowledge that there are a good number of truly called, gifted and anointed Pastors who have burned out, hit the wall and for whatever reason walked away from their purposed function in the Body of Christ.

Personally, I am not convinced that is ultimately such a bad thing. I say that as a Pastor who has already crossed over that bridge of experience in the making of this particular man of God. Father is going to perfect His work in the life of a Pastor just as much as He is in the life of any other believer. There is a maturing process in the development of the ministry gifts in a servants life, that just cannot be separated from who that person is, and takes place in the same context of their maturing process as a child of God.

So, whether it comes from political power struggles, unrealistic expectations, misguided accusers of the brethren, wounded relationships, personal ambition and a desire to be great, or even just being saddled with a bunch of rebellious sheep that refuse to be pastored, when a God called, gifted and anointed Pastor leaves the ministry...it just might be the Lord.

In any case...the story isn’t over yet.