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Outreach Effort Goes Horribly Wrong

Orginally published on Friday, September 01, 2006 at 7:46 AM
by Todd Rhoades

PENSACOLA, Florida (NN) -- In an effort to 'plant the seed' with lost people in his community, Rev. Jeremy Ironside of Overlook Blvd Church of the Nazarene invested the entire outreach budget to purchase a John 3:16 shirt for every member of his congregation. Tragically Rev. Ironside lacks the gift of proofreading T-shirt orders...

When Rev. Ironside opened the shipment of T-shirts, he decided to field test the T-shirt by wearing one to a restaurant for lunch. “People are looking at me with a quizzical look as if they’ve never seen the crazy guys at football games with ‘John 3:16’ signs. A Jewish guy walks by and says, ‘Isn’t it supposed to be John 3:16?’ I look down at the shirt, and it says ‘John 31:6’. I don’t even know what that verse says!”

Rev. Ironside was further mortified to find that the book of John only has twenty one chapters, so John 31:6 does not even exist. Part-time secretary and pastor of assimilation, Stacey Hamilton confirmed that the T-shirts matched the order perfectly, so no refund was possible.

“The board is going to be ticked off about this. I talked them into cancelling scholarships for kid’s camp so that we could buy these T-shirts. I guess I’ve learned something here. The devil will do anything to trip up those who are building the Kingdom of God.”

[This story is from Nazarene Nooz.  As usual, don’t believe too much you read that was posted here on Friday’s.  It’s our attempt to have some fun with some great satire.  Hope you enjoy!]

Have a great weekend!


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 TRACKBACKS: (0) There are 12 Comments:

  • Posted by michael

    the funny thing is...i’d buy that shirt.  it’s pretty funny.

  • Posted by

    We had t shirts made for a student conference one year and chose a business in onother town that was owned by a “chrisitan” couple who had great references as to their church involvement… So according to the theme we wanted 1Tim.4:12 (Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young...) on the shirts we got them on the way to the conference and the shirts had the verse 1 Tim. 3:12 on them… (A deacon must be the husband of one wife...)

    They are collectors items now.

  • Posted by

    Wow, what great grammar and punctuation in that last comment.

  • Posted by

    RevJeff, that is hilarious!!

  • Posted by Todd Rhoades

    Thanks, Michael… I strive really hard to make sure you all get your money’s worth!

    Todd smile

  • Posted by Rodd Jefferson

    I’d also buy the t-shirt. What a laugh!

  • Posted by dan ohlerking

    ok, for real.... can i buy one of those shirts?  that’s awesome.

  • Posted by

    I say, let’s bail out the kid’s camp fund and ALL buy one of those shirts!!

  • Posted by

    Everyone noticed that the original story was pure fiction, though, right?  That makes Rev. Jeff’s story even better!  grin

  • I’ve heard a story, possibly urban legend, that a prominent politician quoted as his favorite verse as John 16:3, and gave the text as “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, ...  “ etcetera. Astute listeners knew he had messed up, and then looked up John 16:3, which reads - “They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me.” (NIV) It seemed pretty appropriate.

    I also heard that a church leader was trying to get a group of people to increase their commitment towards a particular project. The organization sponsoring it had increased theirs, so the key phrase was “We’ve upped our commitment, now up yours!” To highlight this initiative, they had a bunch of shirts printed that said, simply, “Up yours!”, and didn’t realize the other meaning until they began handing them out.

    It happens.

  • Posted by Dennis

    While I understand the satiracle nature of the story if this were indeed true it could have better results at engaging members of the community in conversation. Almost everyone, lost included, recognize John 3:16. If they were to see T-shirts all over town with John 31:6 on them it would create a “buzz” and could provide better results. Sounds like marketing genius doesn’t it?

  • Posted by Mark Simpson

    Reminds me of the couple getting married that included their reservation for the reception within the wedding invitation, like many do, and wanted to add a verse there too. They asked the printer to run Isai. 55:9, “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways . . . “ Sounds nice. Except the printer got it wrong and ran Isai. 56:9: “Come all you beasts of the field, come and devour.” Most honest reception invitation I ever saw.

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