what scares me is when these blogs become a way for a very vocal and sometimes very tiny minority to have undue influence. Sort of like the ONE person who complains about music EVERY week… How do you respond to them?

What intrigues me is when these blogs become a way for people to get heard who aren’t, and when they NEED to be heard for any number of reasons.

Balance…

I think I agree that on a broad national / denominational level blogs may be a viable means of disseminating information, inviting comment and discussing issues, but on a local church congregation level I would think face-to-face would be a better way to resolve conflicts, as long as everyone affected can be involved (if they so desire) and everyone can be kept informed.

I think it would be better to resolve internal conflicts internally, without allowing external forces undue influence.  Internal resolution should at least be attempted before opening an internal issue up to the whole world of external opinions via a blog.

Blogs can give small minorities a great deal of possibly unwarranted influence.  I have seen some conflicts aired on blogs where it was impossible to tell from the outside who was the minority and majority, and seen some where it turned out to be a very small minority who spoke like they represented a majority.

Blogs/websites of an informational/instructional nature like MMI are of a different type than blogs about specific church conflicts, although sometimes the same types of comments and discussions take place.

I am going to be careful here. Coming on this blog and venting is one thing - but to air specific dirty laundry identifying a specific church and its Pastor is damaging for that church and the Pastor; and I don’t know how that could possibly bring healing. On the other hand, when a Pastor demands “unity” meaning “you must agree with me” or “I am open for input” (even though I’m still going to do it my way) what kind of voice do members have any more? If you have a church vote, in the name of unity the church will vote affirmative, and then complain privately for the next few years. Even in leadership meetings, if there are disagreements the other leaders are instructed that “when we leave this meeting, we all will be in agreement and any disention will not be spoken. No wonder we have so many church hoppers.

I think that Dr. Bob has pointed out the real issue here, and an issue that is close to my heart, which is Biblical conflict resolution.  Blogs themselves are merely a tool and not in and of themselves unbiblical (though opening up private conflict for public discussion is, IMO, uniblical).  But the bigger issue is how churches handle conflict, and usually the answer is, not well.  Speaking as a lay leader, I have been in meetings where I’ve disagreed with the outcome, but I do think it is best, once the decision is made, to publicly support it, not because I’m a “Yes Woman” but because I am a team player, and I feel that team players should support the decisions of the team.  The alternative—privately airing my disagreement with 10-20 of my closest friends—only results in dissension, bitterness, and doesn’t give the decision a fair chance to succeed.  It is a huge area of integrity—one I have not walked perfectly in—and one that, IMO, divides more churches than anything else.

Laura, I’ve read your input on PP extensively and you’re quite a bitter person. And now you’re trying to drag that whole issue into this blog too. I understand the, not feeling like you have recourse with your Pastor or an open forum to ask questions without repercussions, but there has to be a better way than venting on a public, national blog.  I believe the fact is that you have now left CCabq, Skip is back and that is the way it is - like it or not.  For your own well-being it’s time you moved on and enjoy the new church you’re attending. The stuff at CCabq is well documented.  Skip will have the Lord’s face to look into one day and I trust our Lord will know what to say to him.

Ann,

Think as you will.  God bless you.

I am simply verifying there is another tool out there for folks to use.  And in the case of CCABQ, there was no better way.

I think that church discussion blog or whatever the tool is something would be very beneficial. Anything can be hijacked. But to have a place where dieas and issues can be posted amnd have a dialogue among those in the church and related to the ministries would creatvie and engaging.

The posted example would be a demonstration on how not to do it.

Laura and Judy,
But what good has it done? He’s back and have things changed much there?  All I see it having done is cause sin in the hearts of people who would never have had a clue there was a problem there if they hadn’t read the blogs.  And still I’m sure he maintains he did nothing wrong, certainly not illegal or why would he be back there.  Ok - well I don’t want to get into details concerning CC abq - the good people there need to get on with the business of the church.  I’m just saying dragging it all through the blogs leads to a lot of gossip, exaggeration and many other things that shouldn’t happen.  And Judy if everyone always had “a voice” as you put it, nothing would ever get done.  In a church that size do you really think there would be one issue everyone would 100% agree on?
I’m not saying any Pastor should be allowed to abuse his flock - it’s a gross violation of Jesus’ teaching, but dragging him through the mud of public blogs is an equal violation and I think you just don’t see your sin as being the same as his.  That somehow yours is justified.  Am I justified in stealing from my neighbor because he abused me?  Of course not.

I can understand that there is a certain amount of anger/frustration about the CCABQ, but that situation doesn’t mean that there is wide spread abuse or dishonesty in the pastorate.  Gossip is still sin and for everything to be aired on a blog is nothing more than satan using the internet again for darkness.  To start with mistrust of a pastor is to start with no love.  You cannot love someone unconditionally and mistrust them at the same time.  Mistrust makes love conditional.  Start any relationship to any pastor with mistrust and they will for sure disappoint you, fail you and give you reason to confirm your mistrust.  I am not saying blind trust is what we need, that would not be a relationship.  I am saying mistrust promotes gossip, bitterness, unresolved anger, wounded people, crippled vision, loss of joy, no eternal impact, broken relationships and disconnected and divided people.  Now take that list and answer this question.  Whose goal is that, God’s or satans?  Again, the bible gives us a process that precludes gossip, aims at restoration and promotes healing.  Or we can just blog it out till someone is irreparably hurt. 

Would it be okay if I respecfully asked you ladies to take this somewhere else as it is not dealing with topic but aguing about a situation?  Laura, Judy and Ann, you are not going to land on the same page on this forum.  Thanks

Leonard,
Thanks - it was not my intention to hyjack this thread, but thought the discussion was on-point.  Appreciate your thoughts

Wow, I ‘ve come in late on this one…

BLOGS are by their nature opinionated.  I’d prefer to have someone BLOG their discontent than call my wife to complain about an issue rather than talking to me directly.

The issue is whether individuals hold their communication to a BIBLICAL standard or not.  BLOGS are just the latest form of the “coffee table conversations” that church members have been secretly having for years. 

I doubt whether it really matters that “Myrtle’s” opinions can now be known by the whole world.  Discerning people can sort the poop from the straw.

Judy,
Leonard was respectful when he asked.  Unfortunately you seem to have allowed this whole issue to color and taint your view of things people say which are totally not related.  i hope you have someone you can talk to about this and can give you good counsel, because it doesn’t seem like you’re dealing with it well.  And I mean that totally respectfully and in love

Great! - Cyberstrife